Friday, March 31, 2006

Talk Is Cheap --- Or Is It?


STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - The use of mobile phones over a long period of time can raise the risk for brain tumors, a new Swedish study said on Friday, contradicting the conclusions of other researchers.

The Dutch Health Council, in an overview of research from around the world, last year found no evidence radiation from mobile phones and TV towers was harmful. A four-year British survey released in January showed no link between regular, long-term use of cell phones and the most common type of tumor.

However, researchers at the Swedish National Institute for Working Life said they looked at the mobile phone use of 905 people between the age of 20 and 80 who had been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor and found a link.

"A total 85 of these 905 cases were so-called high users of mobile phones, that is they began early to use mobile and, or wireless telephones and used them a lot," the study said.

"The study also shows that the rise in risk is noticeable for tumors on the side of the head where the phone was said to be used," it added.

Kjell Mild, who led the study, said the figures meant that heavy users of mobile phones, for instance of who make mobile phone calls for 2,000 hours or more in their life, had a 240 percent increased risk for a malignant tumor on the side of the head the phone is used.

"The way to get the risk down is to use handsfree," he told Reuters.

He said his study was the biggest yet to look at long-term users of the wireless phone, which has been around in Sweden in a portable form since 1984, longer than in many other countries.



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


You wouldn't stick your head in an oven unless you were Sylvia Plath, or come to think of it, Ted Hughes' second wife, who killed herself the same way. What are the odds of that happening? But I digress.

Microwaving your brain can't be a good idea. I talk about ten minutes a month on my cell, and have the phone bills to prove it.

Every day I walk past dozens of Shop-Rite employees, many of them teen-agers, who take their breaks outside the store. They sit on the benches next to the bus stop (Diesel exhaust, anyone?) and perch in the window ledges, smoking and talking on their cell phones.

I always wonder what will get them first, lung cancer or a brain tumor.



(Deeplip, who herself may be brain damaged from the patriotic music and hymns that she's exposed to daily when she enters and exits Shop-Rite. The huge vestibule has its own "playlist":
Kate Smith's "God Bless America", Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA", Lee Greenwood' s "God Bless the USA", many strident, melismatic, American Idol versions of "America" - as well as the familiar one by Ray Charles, the Battle Hymn of the Republic(!), and several rousing renditions of "The Star Spangled Banner". All the music is played at a deafening level.)



(Deeplip)

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Suffer The Children



Catholic Church Gets 783 New Abuse Claims

By RACHEL ZOLL, AP Religion Writer 28 minutes ago


The nation's Roman Catholic leaders received 783 new claims of sex abuse by clergy in 2005, with most of the allegations involving cases that are decades old.

The new claims, reported Thursday, bring the total number of accusations against Catholic clergy to more than 12,000 since 1950.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the Church admits women to the priesthood, expect to see a dramatic drop in reported cases of child abuse. Unfortunately, that's not going to happen anytime soon.

The good news (Gospel?) is, if the Pope continues to take a hard line on abortion, birth control and homosexuality, the seemingly intractable problem of pedophile priests will resolve itself.

Just as cancer cures smoking, the Roman Catholic Church will simply disappear.


(Deeplip)
Will US use Iran military option?

By Paul Reynolds World Affairs correspondent, BBC News website

The US has the military capability to attack Iran's nuclear facilities.

If the current diplomatic efforts to get Iran to suspend its nuclear fuel enrichment activities do not work, it is inevitable that at some stage, attention will be turned to discussion of a military option.

That means, in practice, an air attack against Iran's nuclear facilities by the United States and/or Israel.

The US could certainly carry out such an attack, with cruise missiles and with B-2, other Stealth bombers and B-52 bombers armed with satellite guided bombs.

However Iran's nuclear plants are widely spread out and one is buried deep underground, so an attack would need to be sustained and wide-ranging.

Israel might also be able to do it. Not long ago it bought some bunker-busting bombs from the US.

Nobody involved in the diplomatic round says this is an active proposition at the moment. However, President Bush has stated that the US will not accept Iran as a nuclear-armed state.

Hawk John Bolton has said the US will use all tools at its disposal. It is possible that he will interpret Iran's programme as a threat, even though Iran says it will not build a bomb but wants the technology only to make fuel for civil nuclear power. It is allowed to do make its own fuel under the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT).

Vice-President Cheney said last year that Israel might act first and "let the rest of the world worry about picking up the diplomatic pieces afterwards". (my italics)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Let the rest of the world worry, indeed. Among the world's nuclear powers, America and Israel are easily the most dangerous. America is the first and only nation in sixty years to use its nuclear weapons (Japan). Israel engages in pre-emptive military strikes against perceived enemies (The Six Day War) and then expands its borders.

If Iran (or Pakistan, or North Korea ) eventually attacks us, it may well be because they take America's arrogant and intemperate threats seriously, and believe - like Israel - that the best defense is a good offense.


(Deeplip)


Wednesday, March 29, 2006


TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT / GO AWAY LITTLE GIRL (HAIKU)


I understood you
better than anyone - and
that was the problem.



(From Deeplip's novella-in-verse, Unreqwerty'd Love: the story of belle and play.)
TEACH ME TONIGHT (TANKA WITH BONUS LINES)

First, you'd read me some
Dylan Thomas and then we'd
take off each other's
pajamas and hump like a
couple of orgling* llamas,

without any pauses line/
breaks
or commas.






*Orgling (from the internet)


Males will make a very strange sound while they are breeding which is called an orgle.

They will sometimes make this sound if there is an open female on the other side of the fence. A breeding will typically last twenty minutes and will often go longer, with the male orgling continuously.

All of the other females will gather by the fence to see what is going on as soon as they hear an orgle. Often the male is quite attentive to the female during the breeding process, nibbling lightly on her ears and rubbing her neck with his front feet (my italics).

The female, on the other hand, usually looks completely bored and will sometimes eat grass, occasionally looking around at the male, as if to say “Aren’t you done yet?”

--------------------

FYI, I'd never, ever ask if you were done yet. I'd read The London Review of Books, and I'd never look over my shoulder. That's how all that "I/Thou" nonsense starts.


(From Deeplip's novella-in-verse, Unreqwerty'd Love.)
That young black girl,
Autum Ashante?
She's raisin' hell
but she ain't no Dante.


(Deeplip)



Roy Innis Asks, "Autum Ashante: A Cause Celebre Or An Intelligent But Misguided Child?"

New York, NY 10003

March 17 2006

The alleged crisis about the statement made by Autum Ashante, a 7 year old Westchester black girl, is not about her free speech rights. It is about her right to impose her inaccurate reading of history on other children in a closed public gathering--a captured audience. It should also be about a parent corrupting an apparently bright, innocent child. Just imagine that Batin Ashante, her father, was a white man, home schooling and guiding his daughter with such palpably erroneous thoughts about black nationalism. Would there be a question of free speech? Or would the question be white racism—as it should be?

It is a puzzle to me that after perusing much of the media discussion of this issue, that none of them raised the question of the gross inaccuracy of the historical reference to Columbus, Morgan and Darwin as white nationalists who put black people in bondage. Assuming that Autum and her father are poets, and that is a stretch of my imagination, there isn’t enough poetic license to justify those historical inaccuracies. Whatever the sins of Columbus, Morgan and Darwin, these sins were not directed at blacks. Columbus could be criticized for his treatment of Native Americans, not Black Americans. Morgan should be condemned for his piracy committed on treasure ships owned by Spain, France, England, Portugal, Holland, etc. Darwin might be challenged for his theory of evolution that is offensive to fundamentalist Christians—white ones, black ones, latino ones, etc.

People attending a Black history celebration event at a public school in Westchester should be offended by a seven year old child being led and allowed to invidiously segregate the audience. Again, imagine a white nationalist and his daughter doing this in a similar audience. Racism is racism.

Racism is not truth, and poetry is not the cure. Black leaders must not exploit this incident as a cause celebre. They should recognize it for what it is—a case of intellectual child abuse.




SOUL SISTAH


other folks
be fawnin'
I be
in the corner
yawnin'
wrap a doo-rag
‘round
my head
paint me
black, I’d knock
'em dead

talkin' ‘bout
soul
and queens
and kings
talkin’ ‘bout why
the caged bird sings,
drums and
Afrocentric things
rappin’ ‘bout
roots and
the motherland
ain’t no
whites gonna
understand

cause it’s a black thang

like jazz and chit’lin’s and
Muhammad Ali

I know I ain’t
no Langston Hughes
but damn, I’m
black
I paid my dues
I gotta right
to sing the blues
and if my shit ain’t
poetry
it don’t make no
nevermind
me and Maya
royalty

you can kiss
my black behind.




( from "The Little Book of Poems About Poet's and Poetry" by Deeplip, aka Pandora Blue.)






Pull My Daisy

Pull my daisy
tip my cup
all my doors are open
Cut my thoughts
for coconuts
all my eggs are broken.

(Kerouac, Ginsberg and Cassaday)



Pull My Finger

Pull my finger
kiss my grits
all my lines are busy
Cut my seams
for Krispy Kremes
dance me till I'm dizzy.

(Deeplip, who often writes bad poetry but is rarely guilty of pseudo-profundity.)
Did Somebody Just Ask, "What is Mesothelioma?"


From E-VERSE RADIO:


A reader sends in "most expensive Google ad keywords:"

"This list of the highest-paying Google advertising keywords is exciting for its very dullness: if there's one thing that's become clear it's that in 2006, the most aggressive users of keyword advertising are asbestos lawyers, ambulance chasers, and mortgage brokers."


$54.33 mesothelioma lawyers
$47.79 what is mesothelioma
$47.72 peritoneal mesothelioma
$47.25 consolidate loans
$47.16 refinancing mortgage
$45.55 tax attorney
$41.22 mesothelioma
$38.86 car accident lawyer
$38.68 ameriquest mortgage


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I'd rather be dead or in a coma
Than blog about mesothelioma.
And someone should strap me on a gurney
If I use the key words "tax attorney".
Inject me! Ignore my pleas and groans
If I blog about mortgages and loans.
I'd sooner be stabbed in my own foyer
Than ever say "car accident lawyer".



(Deeplip, who urges all bloggers not to go for the quick buck, because everybody will detest us if we talk about asbestos.)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006



CONSOLATION (Haiku)

The good thing about
losing your mind is you won't
miss it when it's gone.



DILETTAUNT
A poem should not mean, but be." (Archibald MacLeish)



Poetry isn’t
dentistry.
You don’t need
an advanced
degree.
In basketball,
they can’t teach
height.
Everyone can’t learn
to write.
Master classes
and week-end
retreats
won’t produce
a Shelley or Keats.
Do it
the old – fashioned way.
Ignore what the
critics have to say.
Remember that Rome
wasn’t built in a day,
and neither was
Edna St. Vincent Millay.
If you write bad verse,
well --- that’s ok.
You might write worse
with an M.F.A..
If you lack
the right credentials
better stick
to the essentials.
Keep it short, but
not too sweet.
Don’t use rhymes and
don’t count feet!
Skew the syntax.
Switch the tense.
Try to keep
the language dense.
(It helps if the title
makes no sense.)
Never write
a line that could
easily be understood.
Critics all
will wax ecstatic
if your poems are
enigmatic.
Always
strive to be abstruse;
lest you’ll sound like
Mother Goose –
or even worse,
like Dr. Seuss.
Don’t be “humdrum”.
Don’t be “trite”.
Think conundrum
when you write.
Pull enough wool
over their eyes,
you just might win
a Pull it, sir Prize.
(From Deeplip's The Little Book of Poems About Poetry and Poets)
Bolton to Replace Card as Chief of Staff (Yahoo! News)

By TERENCE HUNT, AP White House Correspondent


WASHINGTON - White House chief of staff Andy Card has resigned and will be replaced by budget director Joshua Bolten, President Bush announced Tuesday amid growing calls for a White House shakeup and Republican concern about Bush's tumbling poll ratings.




You know what they say about rats deserting a sinking shit.




(Deeplip)




Though my interest isn't keen,
I will mention"Sweet Sixteen"
in the hope that they will pay
more than just one cent today.
Sorry if I do embarrass
(with this silly talk of Paris,
Colin, Sharon and Denzel)
all my fans who wish me well,
but I've got a blog to sell.
BABY’S FIRST NURSERY UNRHYMES*


One, two,
buckle my seatbelt.
Three, four,
shut the window.
Five, six,
pick up toys.
Seven, eight,
put them away.
Nine, ten,
a big fat rooster.


Rain, rain,
go away.
Come again
some other time.


A diller a dollar
a ten-o’clock scholar!
What makes you come so soon?
You used to come at ten o’clock,
but now you come at twelve.


Yankee doodle went to town
riding on a pony.
Stuck a feather in his cap
and called it an egg noodle.


Hey! diddle, diddle,
The cat and the banjo,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the knife..


Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown.
And then Jill fell down, too.


Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick;
Jack jumped over
the flashlight.


Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider
who sat down beside her,
and frightened the living daylights out of her.





*A National Book Award winning poet urged teachers who attended her workshop to tell their young students a poem not only needn’t, but shouldn’t rhyme.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Girl Talk

A saved e-mail. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.


Hi G/F,


Well, here's the long and the short of it: There will not be a sexual dimension to our relationship, and not because he's not Kyle, but because he's Jim, and for that I am relieved and grateful to the God of Sexual Attraction, who often causes much mischief.

Seeing Jim naked except for flipflops and underpantless, stained baggy khaki shorts wasn't the dealbreaker - I know the God of Aging has been very good to me, and I could easily love an old geezer with scrawny arms and a pot belly - in fact, I probably already do, lol. When I love a man he automatically, magically becomes beautiful.

The dealbreaker was his spiel about AIDS transmission among middle-aged, middle class whites being a myth, and his insistence that only IV drug users, gay men and bisexuals were at risk of contracting the virus.

According to Jim, soccer moms, librarians, grad students, "nice" people who attend "Parents Without Partners" dances, etc., can't give or get AIDS, so it's not necessary for him to wear a condom. Besides, he doesn't have sex with just anyone. He's picky. He'll engage in sex only after he's determined that his prospective partner is .... are you ready for this...."clean". Need I say more?

He reads Ancient Greek, Modern Greek, Latin, Hebrew, French, German, Italian and Spanish. and he's dumb enough to have sex with strangers without wearing a condom. If I were foolish enough to get involved with a self-professed non-monogamous man, forget about condoms - I'd insist on a scuba diver bodysuit modified with a double - lined vinyl codpiece.

Used to be, men could just break your heart. Now they can kill you. If any man ends up killing me, it's gonna have to be worth it.



Connie




(Deeplip)




The Sexiest Woman Alive



According To FHM magazine (yes, I had to google it, and so can you) Angelina Jolie has been dethroned by Scarlett Johansson, who is barely out of her teens.

I feel a rant coming on about the age thing, but I'll try to stifle myself and say something nice about her. After all, it's not her fault she's young and beautiful.


But there's a problem:


I'd rather not blog
about Scarlett Johansson

I can't find a rhyme
for her name except Manson,

and both Charles and Marilyn
give me the creeps.

Too bad I can't pair her
with two other peeps.



(Deeplip, who has made only thirty four cents today and needs some ads and some clicks, dammit.)
Can I Get A Veggie Burger with Sprouts on Whole Wheat?


Current mood: queasy
Category:
Life

March 27, 2006 From The New York Times:

Pork That's Good for the Heart May Be Possible With Cloning

By
GINA KOLATA


A group of university researchers said yesterday that they had created what sounds like a nutritional holy grail: cloned pigs that make their own omega-3 fatty acids, potentially leading to bacon and pork chops that might help your heart.
For now, the benefits of the research are theoretical.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The benefits are especially theoretical for the pigs.



(Deeplip, who doubts that the benefits of supporting the meat industry and endorsing genetically modified foods are theoretical for Ms. Kolata.)
All I Need To Know About Neurobiology I Learned From A Misfortune Cookie


Current mood: enlightened
Category: Writing and Poetry



NECESSARY (D)EVILS (HAIKU)

Fear and Pain are twin
sentinels guarding the gates
to the House of Life.



Sunday, March 26, 2006

Thinking Outside The Box


Current mood: it's all good

Category: Writing and Poetry



WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? (HAIKU)

Men are from Mars and
women are from Venus - unless
they are from Strap-on.



(Deeplip, who hopes nobody notices this haiku has an extra syllable.)
"And Now, For Something Completely Different ...."


Current mood: deeply sincere
Category:
Writing and Poetry


LOVE POEM (dedicated to Ariel Greenberg)


There is witch hazel in
the bag that is not a douche.
Talk to me, I am
swimming out of your medicine.

I will lie with you and stitch you.
Measure the wandered floor, the
mended door. I know nothing.
I have a harelip I will show you.

Let us go into the garden.
and smear it all yellow.
I have a william coming loose
I am saving for your apology.


The experimental (ouch!) poem above is from "The Little Book of Poems About Poetry and Poets"


(Deeplip. who is inspired by the leading poets of the day and is striving, in her own humble way, to emulate them.)







Google











Financial Asses: A Pitch In Time Saves Mine


Current mood: importunate

Category: Life



If you're suffering from boredom,
take a class, improve your mind.
Why not click my ad from Fordham?
Leave your stupid self behind.

If you're still a hopeless dunce
(they say some things can't be taught)
Sickest Motorcycle Stunts
Sits there waiting to be bought.

Tool bars, travel, hair styles, loans.
All are just a click away.
Ringtones, software, laptops, phones
Click on one and make my day.



(Deeplip, who has already made almost three dollars today.)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Ut Oh ... I've Been A Very, Very Bad Poet Again.


Current mood: wishing somebody would spank me.

Category: Writing and Poetry




GUILTY PLEASURES (Shakespearean Sonnet)


Haiku are fun to write because they're short.
I tend to write them when I'm short on time.
And tanka, I am happy to report,
Are also short and easier to rhyme.
I don't know a pantoum from a pontoon.
And emulating Petrarch hurts my brain.
I'll stick with Hallmark; moon and June and spoon

And pen a more conventional refrain.
It could be that I'm lacking in resolve.
Or maybe erudition's what I lack.
A ghazal* is a puzzle I can't solve.
It makes my train of thought go off the track.
And I would rather die and go to hell.
Than ever try to write a villanelle.




*An ancient poetic form originating in Persia, which rhymes with puzzle.



(From Deeplip's "The Little Book of Poems About Poetry and Poets".)

Selected Haiku from "Unreqwerty'd Love"



I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN

Sometimes love is a
hemorrhoid that hurts and feels
good at the same time.


SOMEDAY MY PRINCE WILL COME

You were supposed to
open the casket, not take
a dump on the lid.



IN LOVE IN VAIN

I thought you would be
the icing on the cake, not the
hole in the doughnut.



QUE SERA SERA

I just want to get
over you or under you.
One or the other.



THREE LITTLE WORDS

I said I love you.
I never said I liked you.
I'm not that stupid.




(Deeplip, who hopes the "sick motorcycle stunts" ad will not run on this page. What are they thinking? That ad belongs next to Tom Cruise's "droppings" - my droppings, actually, of his name. I made nine dollars and change today. I'll hold my nose all the way to the bank.)




"Why Doesn't My Heart Go Dancing?" Don't Ask.

Current mood: melancholy

Category: Romance and Relationships



SPRING IS HERE


Each bud
a silent reproach
every flower
an emblem
of remembrance
and regret.
Unfurling leaves
signal
no renewal
this year
no rebirth.
Fuck Spring
and her
bro-
ken
promises.




(From Deeplip's novella-in-verse, Unreqwerty'd Love: the story of belle and play.)


"Do Not Go Gentle...."

Current mood: pithy, and no, I don't have a lisp.

Category: Life



PARSE-IMONY

I measure out my words with care
I ration every letter
because I'm old, and I've been told
the less I say, the better.


(Deeplip)
Click, Click, Ka-Ching!


Current mood: suppliant
Category:
Life



When is the tail
wagging the dog?

When ads get clicked
On Deeplip's blog.

Fordham, Adobe
John Lennon Print.

Free Blogging Software.
She'll make a mint!

Or at least, keep the lights on
if you* take the hint.



*gentle readers


(Deeplip)




Update:

I hope you'll forgive me

for pimping my blog.
It's not that I want to live

high on the hog,
but Social Security

goes just so far.
What will I do when I need a new car?




(Deeplip, who drives a '95 Windstar)

Friday, March 24, 2006

Boobus Americanus


Current mood: dinosaur-ish
Category:
Life



Let us talk of Paris Hilton
Ashton, Usher and Denzel.
Who needs Shakespeare, Swift and Milton?
Dante's ass can go to hell.

Forget Giotto, we've got Gotti.
Fuck Scarlotti, Pimp My Ride!
Melville's dead, but we've got Moby
Why am I not satisfied?


The Complete Idiot's Guide To Making Money The Easy Way With Key Words

Current mood: willing to do whatever it takes
Category: News and Politics


Nothing to it. Just write about hot topics, and advertisers will pay for space on your blog. If you want to make money, it's better to write about Brangelina than Palestrina.

Now, I know some people see this as selling out. If you're deliberately dumbing down your blog and pandering to the lowest common denominator, isn't the tail wagging the dog?

I look at it differently. There is no dog, only a disembodied tail, and the tail is wagging the blog.



(Com)mission (Im)possible



I love to read
about Tom Cruise.
That's why I click on
Yahoo! News.

I see his picture
every day.
(He's kinda short,
but that's o.k.)

And when there's nothing
new to say
They talk about him
anyway.

This poem of mine
is not a ruse.
I really do
adore Tom Cruise.




(Deeplip)
Big Girls Don't Cry

Current mood: introspective

Category: Romance and Relationships



I Get Along Without You Very Well (Haiku)


Whenever I lose
a piece of myself, I grow
a beautiful scar.





(Deeplip, from her novella-in-limbo, Unreqwerty'd Love)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

JUST ANOTHER (Maria Shara)POV(a)



If I tried to up my ranking,
would I risk a cyberspanking?

Could Alfonso Soriano
trigger a mano a mano?

Would it be uncool, unhip
to blog about the Gaza Strip?

If I mentioned Frank Quattrone
Would I be in the danger zone?

The Tar Heels staked their claim to fame
That's why bloggers drop their name.

And everyone from Maine to Maui
Wants to talk about Moussaoui

And indeed, it's necessary
to acknowledge Cyclone Larry

Lukashenko's hot, it's true
But not as hot as Tagliabue

Hurricane Katrina's gone
but her key word lingers on

I feel like some hanky-panky.
Heads up, Google: BEN BERNANKE!



(Deeplip)
Junk Science?

Current mood: skeptical

Category: News and Politics


How Babies Learn Their First Words

RobertRoy Britt

LiveScience Managing Editor
Live Science.com Wed Mar 22, 10:00 AM ET


Like teenagers, babies don't much care what their parents say.


Though they are learning words at 10 months old, infants tend to grasp the names of objects that interest them rather than whatever the speaker thinks is important, a new study finds.


And they do it quickly.


The infants were able to learn two new words in five minutes with just five presentations for each word and object, said study leader Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, a professor of psychology at Temple University. Importantly, the babies paired a new word to the object they liked best, regardless of what object the speaker referred to.


"The baby naturally assumes that the word you're speaking goes with the object that they think is interesting, not the object that you show an interest in," Hirsh-Pasek said.


The result is not too surprising, Hirsh-Pasek said in a telephone interview. She says interest drives learning for older children, too, and even adults.


She cites six-year-olds she's heard talking knowledgably about baseball players' batting averages. "How in the world do they get it? They're not going to do decimals until 7th or 8th grade."



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Hmmmm.....let's see. Is it possible these six-year olds are not actually computing the averages, Ms. Hirsh-Pasek? Perhaps they are simply repeating them. Her inane comment makes me doubt the accuracy and usefulness of this "study".

The day she turned five months old, my daughter pulled herself up to a standing position in her crib and said "mama" several times before crashing into the headboard. She could get up, but didn't know how to sit back down.

That's about as developmentally typical as six-year olds doing fractions and decimals without having been taught how to do them.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Amazon.com Modifies Abortion Queries (from Yahoo! News)



SEATTLE - Amazon.com Inc. said Monday it had modified the way its search engine handles queries for the term "abortion" after receiving an e-mail complaint that the results appeared biased.

Until the recent change, a user who visited the Seattle Internet retailer and typed in the word "abortion" received a prompt asking, "Did you mean adoption?" followed by search results for "abortion."

Spokeswoman Patty Smith said the automated prompt was purely based on technology, and that no human had made the decision to show the question."Adoption and abortion are the same except for two keystrokes," Smith said. "They also, in this case, happen to be somewhat related terms."

Still, Smith said she and other company officials decided to remove the question after receiving an e-mail complaint and deciding that it raised a valid concern.

People who type in the term "adoption" do not see a prompt asking "Do you mean abortion?"

Smith said that's because more people did adoption-related searches after typing in abortion, and said there are other words where the prompt works the same way.

For example, if you type in the word "plaque" you get a prompt asking, "Did you mean plague?" but not the other way around.

Smith said people who search for the word "abortion" would continue to see "adoption" and "pro-life" under the heading "related searches," which gives people other, similar terms to search. People who type in "adoption" do not see the word "abortion" under "related searches."



The change was reported Monday by The New York Times.


___________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Only one keystroke difference between "rental" and "dental". No prompts.

How about "rental" and "rectal"? If ever a prompt needed to be inserted, you'd think they'd have put one there. No prompt.



(Deeplip)

Sleeping On The Job


SUPERVISOR: I NEVER READ MOUSSAOUI MEMO


By MICHAEL J. SNIFFEN, Associated Press Writer 51 minutes ago (on Yahoo!)



The headquarters supervisor of the FBI's international terrorism operations section testified Tuesday he had never read an Aug. 18, 2001, memo in which an agent proposed a full criminal investigation of Zacarias Moussaoui as a possible terrorist airplane hijacker.

The now retired supervisor, Michael Rolince, was questioned by defense attorney Edward MacMahon during Moussaoui's sentencing trial. He was asked whether he had ever heard that Harry Samit, the FBI agent who arrested Moussaoui while he was taking pilot lessons in Minnesota, concluded the 37-year-old Frenchman of Moroccan descent was a terrorist planning to hijack a commercial jetliner.

"No," Rolince snapped.

Had he heard other conclusions by Samit about Moussaoui?

"No. What document are you reading?" Rolince demanded.

Samit's Aug. 18 report "sent to your office," MacMahon replied.

Called as a government witness, Rolince, a 31-year FBI veteran who retired last October, proved to be more valuable for attorneys defending the only man charged in this country in connection with al-Qaida's Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

Defense objections and rulings by U.S. District Judge Leonie Brinkema barred Rolince from giving what prosecutors wanted most: a long listing of investigative steps the FBI could have taken if Moussaoui had admitted when he was arrested Aug. 16, 2001, all the facts he confessed to when pleading guilty last April.

Instead, defense attorney MacMahon was able to extract from Rolince more embarrassing revelations about FBI handling of terrorism intelligence before 9/11.

This was important because, to get a death penalty at this sentencing trial, the government must show that Moussaoui's lies upon arrest prevented the FBI from identifying 9/11 hijackers and the Federal Aviation Administration from altering airport security enough to have saved at least one of the nearly 3,000 people who died on Sept. 11

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Had Americans been willing before 9/11 to wage war against our own Axis of Evil - arrogance, greed, complacency and ignorance - we wouldn't be fighting a war against terrorism. I'm not suggesting we invited it, or that we deserved it. But we did almost nothing to prevent it.

If the FBI, the CIA and other government agencies involved in national security were private corporations, they would be sued. Criminal charges would be filed. The men responsible would be tried, convicted and jailed.
Big Love ( "Plus Ça Change ......")


Current mood: fair-minded

Category:
Life



Ask anyone what HBO's new smash hit Big Love is about, and they will tell you it's about a man who has three wives.

I say it's about three women who have 1/3 of a husband.

HBO's critically acclaimed and very controversial series doesn't challenge sexual taboos, it reinforces them - unless you count having sex with more than one partner a no-no.

Showtime should do a series about a polygamous family and call it Bi Love. One middle-aged, overworked, exhausted, preoccupied, conflicted and semi-impotent man "married" to three young and attractive bisexual women*.

Consider the possibilities:

To paraphrase the mandate for educating America's children, "No wife left behind". Or in this context, "no wife's behind left behind".

Each wife has three potential bed partners - just as the man of the house does. All the women are sexually satisfied, which means less crying, less yelling at the kids, less bickering among themselves, and a lot less on-line shopping.

And if he likes to watch, a lot less money spent on re-filling hubby's Viagra prescription. And if he joins in, maybe he won't need to re-fill it.



*Young and drop-dead gorgeous is more like it, if Showtime expects to attract male viewers.



(Deeplip, who knows and resents that it's still a man's world)








Google











Keepin' It Real


Current mood: weary of the pretense

Category:
News and Politics



"The Closet," the Controversy -- and Cruise


Friday March 17 8:49 PM ET

By Joal Ryan (on Yahoo! News)


Wednesday night on South Park, Robert Redford got zinged, and Chef urged one and all to "suck on my chocolate salty balls."

The controversial part was what didn't air: A closet.

"Trapped in the Closet," a South Park episode featuring a literally closeted Tom Cruise and a primer on Scientology, was abruptly pulled from Comedy Central's schedule, and replaced with a nearly eight-year-old chestnut spoofing the Sundance Film Festival.

The network wouldn't confirm or comment Friday on why "Trapped in the Closet" was shelved in favor of the 1998 episode "Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls."

Cruise's rep, however, did comment: "This has nothing to do with us," publicist Arnold Robinson said Friday.

Cruise, a Scientologist who has staunchly defended his religion and an avowed heterosexual who has successfully sued people and publications that have suggested he is in the metaphorical closet, was pegged as the culprit in the South Park switcheroo in a report Thursday on HollywoodInterrupted.com.

The blog reported that the star "threatened" to sit out the publicity cycle for Mission: Impossible 3--presumably meaning no interviews, no photo-ops, no Oprah couch--if "Trapped in a Closet" aired again on Comedy Central.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


That's got to be a crowded closet, what with Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Whitney Houston, Kevin Spacey and so many other celebrities *allegedly* jammed in together cheek (and sometimes butt cheek) by jowl .

Not to mention Michael Jackson and the ghost of Luther Vandross, who takes up a lot less room now. Staying in the closet was probably what killed him.

After all the gay sports stars have squeezed in, there's just enough room for a plus-sized talk show hostess I dare not name. Her big-and-tall boyfriend can't fit, unfortunately.



* a weasel word - but a necessary one, for legal reasons.




(Deeplip, who likes gays just fine, but has a problem with fake heterosexuals.)




UPDATE: God does have a sense of humor. Just as I typed the last couple of lines of this post, the radio station I'm listening to started to play Ashford & Simpson
.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Cruise Missile


Current mood: jaded
Category:
News and Politics



From Yahoo! Entertainment :

It's the most hotly-awaited flick of 2006, and now ET has a sneak peek at some of the spectacular stunts in Tom Cruise's highly anticipated 'Mission: Impossible III,' in theaters May 5!

"This film is going to give the audience that 'Mission' ride," says Tom. "There's more stunts and bigger sequences; more than I've done in any movie, ever."

Keri Russell, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Laurence Fishburn, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and, of course, the returning Ving Rhames round out the all-star cast, and the movie's plot is being kept tightly under wraps, but the director, "Lost" mastermind J.J. Abrams, can't stop talking about the spectacular stunts!

"All the things that happen in this movie, Tom did every single one of those things," he says, "like having trucks driving over him, or sliding down things, or big fight sequences, or jumping off the building."

"For me it's part of the challenge of making these movies," explains Tom. "I can't help but look at something and think, 'Can I climb that? Can I jump from that?' I hope that an audience will be thrilled, and so that when you have that action it's just going to just send them."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Long after his difficult and dangerous movie stunts are forgotten, Tom will be remembered for his spectacular leap onto Oprah's couch.

Now that's a stunt! He'll never be able to top that. Or live it down.


Remembering Andrea Yates

Current mood: concerned
Category: News and Politics

Polar bear triplets born at zoo (from the BBC online)

A zoo in the Netherlands is celebrating the birth of polar bear triplets.

The three-month-old cubs made their debut appearance in front
of the public on Friday, when the mother bear came out of their hut
with them in tow.

It's thought to be the first time that polar bear triplets have
ever been born in captivity.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

If the zoo keepers are smart, they'll medicate that mother bear,
even if she shows no signs of postpartum depression.

When she learns her cubs are tri-polar, there's no telling
what she'll do.


(Deeplip)

It's My Poem And I'll Rhyme If I Want To


It's My Poem, and I'll Rhyme if I want to!

Current mood: iconoclastic
Category:
Writing and Poetry


VERBOTEN (HAIKU)

Roses are red and
violets are blue shouldn't be
said in a haiku.




(from Deeplip's The Little Book of Poems About Poetry and Poets)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Elvis Has Left The Building, But He Can Still Be Paged

Current mood: superannuated
Category: News and Politics

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Imagine John Lennon spinning in his grave.

The ex-Beatle, who was murdered over 25 years ago, is the latest subject of a pay-per-view seance arranged by the producers of a 2003 attempt to contact the dead Princess Diana. That show made money but was slammed by critics as hitting a new low in television tastelessness.

"People say this is disgusting and I accept that criticism, but we're making a serious attempt to do something that many, many millions of people around the world think is possible," said Paul Sharratt, who heads Starcast Productions, which made "The Spirit of Diana." That show drew over half a million U.S. viewers willing to pay $14.95 to watch it.

The Lennon show will air on April 24 on a pay-per-view channel and cost $9.95.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


If I had my druthers, they'd be trying to contact Mozart and Queen Elizabeth, not Lennon and Princess Di - but then I'm hopelessly out of step with the times.



(Deeplip)

May The Wind Rise Up To Meet You

Current mood: stoic

Category: Life



Featured article on today's Yahoo's home page asks:


How common are four leaf clovers?

Know the odds of getting lucky this St. Patrick's Day.



I can't copy the graphics or the picture of the shamrock, but I can answer the question.

At my age, the odds are not good.


(Deeplip)

Thanks For Sharing

Current mood: concerned
Category: Life

From today's Delicious Demon Message Board:

"Fr. Hubert: Penance only has one "n" in it. Someone in your profession should be aware of that." (Ken Brown)

I see two "n"s, Ken. Someone in your profession should be aware of that.

Someone in your profession should also be aware that when you say penance "only has one n", you are, in effect, saying the word does not contain the letters p,e,a, and c, two e's - and that second "n" which you say is not there.

Penance has only one "n" is not a true statement, but at least it's grammatically correct.

In the same short post, you volunteer that regular bowel movements are "not a minor consideration" at your age. Too much information, hon - but now you've got me wondering if yours are difficult and infrequent. Maybe even (ouch!) painful.

That would explain a lot, Ken.

Is there a possible connection here? Auto-intoxication can contribute to brain fog. Consider switching to a more healthful diet and getting more exercise.

Although I am your age, my mind is crystal clear and I shit like a rabbit.


(Deeplip)

Thursday, March 16, 2006

To Sir, With Love


Current mood: affectionate

Category: Romance and Relationships


Ken? "Arbiter of evil" makes little sense in the context of your Dick Cheney post on Delicious Demon. Cheney's not judging evil, he embodies it.

"Avatar of evil" would have been better.


NOUN: (From Yahoo's online dictionary)

The incarnation of a Hindu deity, especially Vishnu, in human or animal form.
An embodiment, as of a quality or concept; an archetype: the very avatar of cunning.
A temporary manifestation or aspect of a continuing entity: occultism in its present avatar.


Cheeky of me to critique your work. But don't be mad. Be proud.

After all, you were the one who taught me how to write. It was the only way I could communicate with you.

Thank you, old man. You taught me well.


(Deeplip)



The Twins: There's Good News And There's Bad News


Current mood: wanting to be loved for what's inside

Category: Romance and Relationships


Message exchange on MySpace:


Date: Mar 15, 2006 7:33 PM



if those are yours at 69 they are spectacular and they can pop out whenever they want babe lol


xxxx



Yes, they are mine. The problem is, so is the face. A woman my age who looks ten or fifteen years younger than she actually is still can't compete physically with the twenty-somethings that the old men drool over here on myspace.

Fortunately, I have other things I can offer. Many of them are things I didn't have when I was young and beautiful.

I just want a nice, compatible, companionable old guy, but one who's very bright, funny and - vitally important - fit enough to keep up with me.

Oh, did I mention monogamous? That's a deal-breaker.

If you run across one, point him my way.


Connie


(Deeplip)



A Match Made In Heaven?


Current mood: giddy

Category: Romance and Relationships


My lucky day?


Date:

Mar 15, 2006 8:05 PM Flag spam/abuse.

Subject:

hello


Body:

Hometown man looking for a country lady who likes the outdoors and adventures. I have no kids but don't mind having some around. I am looking for a lady who enjoys life and wants to live it to its fullest. I love to do things outdoors like camping, hunting, fourwheeler riding and raising birds as my hobbies. I work as an engineering and do daily runs so I am home every night. I am looking for someone to share my life with. I would love to take you out mudding, to a show or to show you a good time in a romatic spot I know under the stars. Looking forward to meeting you! am online in my yahoo id at (deleted)


"John"



Could this finally be "The One"? I can't believe we share so many interests - camping, hunting, four-wheeler riding and even mudding!

I don't recall mentioning any of the above activities in my profile or my blogs. The man must be psychic.

I love a man who knows exactly what I want and gives it to me. Could John be that man?



(Deeplip)




A Daily Affirmation For Ken Brown


Current mood: philosophical

Category: Life



HAIR SHIRT (HAIKU)


In life it is not

the journey that counts, it is

the deprivation.




(From Deeplip's novella-in-verse, Unreqwerty'd Love: the story of belle and play)



Update: In all fairness, I have added a daily affirmation for relentless me:




ROSES? WHAT ROSES? (HAIKU)



In life it is not

the journey that counts, it is

the destination.




(Deeplip, who thinks that whoever said the journey is what matters was an under-achieving, pot-smoking, procrastinating slacker.)

Or maybe a Buddhist.



The Twilight Zone


Current mood: relieved

Category: Life


Well, my young critic "Sara" has either removed her profile voluntarily or she's been deleted by MySpace. She must have made that missing third comment.


Invalid Friend ID. This user has either cancelled their membership, or their acccount has been deleted.


Her original comment is missing and so is her profile. I guess when you leave MySpace, all your words vanish along with you .... poof!

Something kinda fishy about her. According to her profile, she joined today, March 14. She has one friend (Tom, natch.) Yet she has blog entries dating from January 2006.

I couldn't be that devious if I tried.



(Deeplip, who wishes blogs weren't posted "backwards", because it reverses the time line and new readers who haven't read her previous posts don't know what she's talking about, and even when she's talking out of her ass - like now - she wants to be understood.)


Pearlcasting For Dummies


Current mood: not suffering fools gladly

Category: Life


I don't mind reading comments from people like Sara, but responding to them is counterproductive. I've got better things to do here.

From now on, I'm disabling the "comments" feature. Is there a way only your "friends" can comment?

Please email me with the answer in non-technical language.



(Deeplip, who will miss hearing from Pun and David)

UPDATE: Just saw and clicked on something that said, "NEW", and "deleted account". It went poof. I have no idea what it was, or where it went.
I also see that there are three comments listed, but only two showing up under the post "Ask The Experts"


If I inadvertently deleted someone's "comment", please email me.


(Deeplip)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Ask The Experts


Current mood: postal

Category: Life


Date: Tue Mar 14, 2006 1:37 am
Subject: Help! Blogger Thinks I'm a Spam Blog


I just attempted to post on my blog and was told it was "locked", because it was suspected of being a spam blog. I am in a panic, because I don't know why on earth they would assume this. And I'm not sure how to respond, other than to type in the letter verification. I do not allow comments on my blog for precisely this reason. I know nothing about web designing and have no idea how to add or remove any info except by using the basic "default " software Blogger provides.

My blog has a very high ranking. I don't know if that has anything to do with their thinking it's a spam blog. On Google, it's ranked first, second and third out of anywhere from about two million entries to over five million.

Does anyone have an address or a phone where I can plead my case to a human person? I have spent thousands of hours on this blog, and I would hate to lose it because of some robot's false report to the equally faceless and inaccessable powers - that - be at Blogger. Thanks for your help.


Connie


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Connie:This group is specifically for Blogger. Go here and maybe they can help more quickly. (url deleted by Deeplip) After you get this straightened out you may want to move the Blog to your own server if it is not there already.

Hope this helps.Roz


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Thank you, Roz... but I don't know how to "move" anything to my server. I don't even know what that means. I just know how to type and press the send button.

At least I saved all my posts, by converting them to emails and mailing them to myself.

Even that was dicey, because when I'd try to copy a month of archived posts, sometimes they'd say I was "not authorized" to view the blog. I had to keep trying. Go figure.

Now if they poof me, I've at least saved everything I've written. I've spend many hours a day at this for the last eight months, and it kills me that they can just arbitrarily remove my blog.

I'm praying they don't, and I'll keep you posted.

I wish I knew enough to hang with you guys, you sound like an interesting and knowledgable bunch.

Thanks again


Connie


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Connie: Sometimes we are forced to learn when these unfortunate things happen. Learning can be very painful, but in the end it is a blessing. Try the other group as they may know who you can call or contact since they are specifically a Blogger help group. The group is active and they are quite helpful from what I can see. Just sign up, you can always leave. It may eliminate some of the worry.

When this is resolved you can also consider using a paid service like TypePad. I don't know much about their service, but they are a reputable company. That is the MovableType bunch. SixApart I believe. I am using WordPress now. I was able to install it through the Fantastico script in my cPanel. It is not hard to install manually either. The instructions are pretty specific. I am not sure, but there might be a conversion feature from Blogger.Can you get into Blogger at all? Seems everyone is probably sleeping here, I woke up and made the mistake of sitting down by the computer, but I am glad I did now IF I was at least a little help to you.
Roz

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Roz, as a retired, sixty nine year old woman who lives alone and struggles with the computer on a daily basis, I think your advice about the need to learn "life lessons" is a bit gratuitous.

I drive a car without knowing how to take it apart and repair it. I should be able to post a blog using Blogger's default software without being a web designer or a computer geek.

Learning would seem to be less necessary for me than for the idiot robots that lock a blog like mine. It is a personal journal with several hundred entries. Nothing but words. Not one picture, not one comment, no animation and no music. It's as if someone went to the library, checked out a book of short stories and without opening it, decided it was a Lands End catalog. They (Blogger) say a "human" will review my blog within a business day.

I'll let you know if that actually happens.

Best,

Connie


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Connie,


I hope your day is going well. I've been following your thread and some of the advice Roz provided is sound...nothing gratuitous that I can think of[1].Google is not asking you (nor is Roz) to become a computer geek or a web designer. Though we can all drive a car without knowing how to fix it, we should all *know the basics* of maintenance (my father taught me that one) - i.e. how to change a tire if it goes flat, how to check your oil regularly, how to add water, or change a wiper blade. Given, most of those basics have been replaced by AAA being a cell phonecall away - but it does the driver a great disservice by being in the dark about the methodology. Even if the driver cannot herself accomplish the task, she can end up being taken for a ride by the people who do. I don't believe Roz was asking you to become a computer geek or web designer, but at least learn the basics[2]. The web should be for everyone (notice I said, *should*), but there are a number of problems that can arise if people don't understand the basic language of the web. Google is cracking down on splogs[3] - though your blog may not be one, it obviously tripped some of Google's splog flag indicators, or someone(yes, a human someone) may have flagged your blog while viewing it.There's no need to panic - simply add your verification in the box and wait for Google to review the blog. If they determine that it's not a splog, it will be unlocked and you can continue to blog freely.

Please don't take my post the wrong way - just trying to offer another perspective.

Warm regards,~ Teli

[1] - Being older doesn't mean you're too old to learn something new. As
people, we should all strive to learn something new everyday regardless of age.

[2] - The basics are simply learning the basics of HTML. Understanding how the words on the page you type are constructed to be read by the viewer. That way, you can update your links (if you still have those "Edit Me" links - that'll flag Google). This doesn't make you a web designer - just an informed netizen.

[3] - Splogs are spam blogs, seeXXXXXXX for an explanation and links.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Teli Adlam is the owner and manager of the Teli Design Studioxxxxxxxxxx and can usually be found blogging at anumber of different locales, but mainly at her Destination: Success blog xxxxxxxxxx If you want to freshen up on your blogging lingo, consider a quick visit to Blogossary XXXXXXXXXXXXXX recently quoted in the NYTimes Mag.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyone who compares things like adding wiper fluid and checking tire pressure to learning HTML is beyond reasoning with.


But I agree, we all should "strive to learn something new" Perhaps Teli should take up the bassoon, so she can experience the joy of mastering a difficult musical instrument - or sit herself down with dozens of back issues of the Sunday Times Magazine, ball point pen in hand, and complete all the puns and anagrams puzzles. For a long term project, how about a book or a screenplay? Maybe a musical? A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

If she enjoys working with her hands, why not build a house? And make her own clothes. And grow her own food.

Just imagine how competent and self-actualized we all could be if only we stopped whining and expecting other people to solve our problems for us.



(Deeplip)

UPDATE: I set up my blog with the help of LS blogs and Blogger, who walked me through it step by step, even supplying "dummy links" so I could insert some links of my own.

My blog has no links on anyone else's blog, as far as I know. I don't know HTML, and don't use any key words or metatags. I don't do anything that would explain the fact that my blog ranks so high. Although I'd love to believe the whole world is reading it, I know this isn't the case.

I have no explanation for its "success". I wonder if other people are somehow embedding their links in it because it is ranked number one - and two and three - on Google out of millions of entries.

Can a blog be a "carrier" for other people's tags and links, and could I be "spamming" without knowing it?

Please email me with thoughts and theories, if you have any.




( Deeplip, who is clueless.)







Google












There is a God, and his/her name is Blog. I am now white listed. Humans and robots, I thank you all.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Monday, March 13, 2006 (A slew of posts from MySpace)


Same Shit, Different Day


Current mood: melancholy

Category: Romance and Relationships



A SONG (Joseph Brodsky)



I wish you were here, dear, I wish you were here.
I wish you sat on the sofa
and I sat near.
the handkerchief could be yours,
the tear could be mine, chin-bound
Though it could be, of course,
the other way around.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish we were in my car,
and you'd shift the gear.
we'd find ourselves elsewhere,
on an unknown shore.
Or else we'd repair
To where we've been before.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish I knew no astronomy
when stars appear,
when the moon skims the water
that sighs and shifts in its slumber.
I wish it were still a quarter
to dial your number.

I wish you were here, dear,
in this hemisphere,
as I sit on the porch
sipping a beer.
It's evening, the sun is setting;
boys shout and gulls are crying.
What's the point of forgetting
If it's followed by dying?



A SONG (Deeplip)



I wish you were here, dear, I wish you were here.
I wish you sat on the sofa
and I sat near.
the handcuffs could be yours,
the rear could be mine, chain-bound.
Though it could be, of course,
the other way around.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish we were in my bed,
and you'd nibble my ear.
we'd find ourselves elsewhere,
And we could explore
Devil may care
Till our bodies were sore.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish I knew no anatomy
when stars appear,
when the moon skims the water
that sighs and shifts in its slumber.
I dream I'm a peach
and you are a cucumber.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here,
as I mope in my room
shedding a tear.
It's evening, the sun is setting;
neighbors grill, burgers are smoking
What's the point of forgetting
If it's followed by croaking?



(Deeplip)


Fantasy Is The New Reality


Current mood: longing for a corporeal relationship

Category: Romance and Relationships



CATCH-22 (HAIKU)


On the internet
it's easy to find men who
don't want to meet you.



(Deeplip)




Ashbery, O'Hara, Koch, Schuyler, and Perkin


Current mood: awed

Category: Writing and Poetry


It's three in the afternoon here, and I just received this email from someone named Willis:


Ever assume your teeny

Good evening Cerew,

Crazy ur GF's complained about u in the nighttime activities. That's why
there's, (spam address deleted by Deeplip) Philip and me both
use them and have nothing but praises for them. nd this makes the Chinese government statistics completely off. Thesechildren are not allowed to go to schoo.l, and later will have difficulty obtaining permission to marry, torelocate, and for other life choices requiring the govern. "So I'm toblame!." (39)The setting of the play is the Tyrones' Puritan New Englandhome, which provides for many of the arguments that take place .


See ya


perkin
_____________________________________________________


Perkin has successfully severed the connection between words and meaning - something the New York School of Poets always attempted, but only occasionally succeeded in doing.
This is the raw stuff of great poetry. A little editing and some well-placed line breaks and voila! A masterpiece!
I salute him.


(Deeplip)




Teat For Tat


Current mood: unembarrassed

Category: Romance and Relationships


Well, the twins continue to provoke controversy and curiosity, even in their absence.
Here's an excerpt from a friend's email:


Missed "The Twins," must not have been posted very long.


My reply:


The twins were "featured" very briefly - just overnight.I wanted to make a statement that old women are sexual beings who have bodies -- and that our youth-obsessed culture should get used to it and get over it.


Apparently, seeing me in a bra was too much for my grandson and Pun.The twins can still be viewed if you click on "view more pics", but only if you are a MySpace member*, so I'll send them via email.

With near-nudity rampant on MySpace (not to mention the full-frontal profiles pics of young woman and medical textbook close-ups of erect penises) you'd think a little cleavage wouldn't rate a second look.

I posted a two-year-old pic of me wearing an old, tattered, unpadded bra from Sears because I believe in truth in advertising, and I wanted to give the lie to three unspoken, but universally accepted beliefs:


1) Old women aren't supposed to display their bodies.

2) Old women no longer have sexual thoughts and feelings..

3) All women over sixty are withered crones - unless they've been surgically enhanced, or "photo-shopped".


If I can be earthy and explicit when I write, then I ought to be able to post a slightly risque picture - but obviously, the young folks aren't ready for it.



*Many of my friends who are not MySpace members check out my blog on Google by typing "deeplip" into the "I'm Feeling Lucky" box. That takes them straight to my blog, where they
can read the latest entry and several recent ones. They can also access the archives if they
have "skilz". The only thing they can't do as non -members is navigate the MySpace website.



(Deeplip)



Grannies Gone Wild


Current mood: accommodating

Category: Romance and Relationships


There's nothing like showing a little skin to attract attention, but I've decided to stick with my face from 1953, and relegate the twins to the "view other pics" section of my profile.

I hope my grandson and Pun will forgive my momentary lapse in judgement.

I wanted to make a statement about my sexuality. I still have breasts. They are nice ones, and they are user-friendly.



(Deeplip, who thinks MySpace is as good a place as any to take a stand against ageism.)




"Hello, Young Lovers, Wherever You Are ....."

Current mood: mildly depressed


Category: Romance and Relationships


Subject:

Hey There!

Body:

Hey, what's up? I stopped by your profile and thought you seemd cool. I am trying to find someone who has 100% for every skill, so let me know if you do and check out my page.

Laters!

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
What is your name and age?
Name
Age
What is your gender?
-----MaleFemale
What is your sexual orientation?
-----StraightBisexualGay

Results (sample results shown on a line graph )

Flirting Skill Level
87.00%
Kissing Skill Level
81.00%
Cuddling Skill Level
97.00%
Sex Skill Level
70.00%


Just got this MySpace questionaire from "Marcus".

He is probably not a real person, so I won't waste my time and energy getting pissed off at him.

1) I don't fllirt.

2) Kissing and cuddling? It takes two to tango.

3) Unless you are masturbating, it is impossible to evaluate your own sexual performance.




Sorry, Marcus. I can't answer those questions, and at my age, the men who could answer them are all dead.



(Deeplip)




I've Got T-Shirts Older Than You Are


Current mood: irate

Category: Romance and Relationships


From: peter


Date: Mar 9, 2006 7:41 PM hello,am peter by name am into Export of coller over the West Africa and some undevelop country in europe. am looking for the woman of my dreams get back to me as soon as you receive this message.the woman that will care about me and the one i will care for.I promise to always be there, love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me most and I will love you no matter what life brings to us .You are my soul, peter.



Oy fucking vey! From now on, I am publicly posting all such "mass mailings"..... and I'm not deleting the senders' names.

I do not appreciate being spammed.

There are millions of attractive young women on MySpace, and I find it hard to believe that a handsome young devil like you (that IS your picture, right?) has - out of the blue - chosen me to be his life's companion and soulmate. Take a hike, Peter. I like them old and wrinkled. And I do mean "them" - the men and their appendages. Get my drift?



Connie

(Deeplip)



The Joy Of Forgetting


Current mood: live and let live

Category: News and Politics


Grape Juice Good for Aging Brain (from the internet)


Antioxidants may help keep memory on track, rat study shows

(HealthDay News) -- Antioxidant-rich concord grape juice may help keep aging brains limber, a study with rats suggests.

The study -- partly funded by grape juice maker Welch Foods Inc. -- included mature rats nearing the end of their expected life spans. Researchers put the rodents through a series of tests designed to measure their short-term memory and neuro-motor skills.

"Concord grape juice appeared to enhance the cognitive and some motor skills in the test animals. In many of the tests we saw significant improvements or trends toward improvement," lead researcher James Joseph, chief of the neurosciences laboratory at the U.S. Department of Agriculture Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University, said in a prepared statement.

"As our population ages, we are continually looking for ways to maintain our mental and physical skills," Joseph noted.

"While these laboratory animal studies are certainly preliminary and much more work needs to be done, we know that consuming high levels of natural dietary antioxidants is a good thing from a number of perspectives. And it appears that drinking Concord grape juice has the potential to help retard the mental and physical declines of aging."

The findings appear in the March issue of the journal Nutrition.

More information

The American Heart Association has more about antioxidants

__________________________________________________________________

Who says lab rats want to remember anything? They might prefer to forget the past, kick back and get a buzz on - even if it costs them a few million brain cells. After all, it's not like they are using them for anything.
Maybe Jack Daniel's should fund a study to see if old rats prefer whiskey to grape juice. I personally know one who does, but he admits only to having a couple glasses of wine with dinner.



(Deeplip)



My Grandmother Was An Artist


Current mood: snarky

Category: Life


Many of the museums and galleries won't let you copy images from the internet unless you are a subscriber, but here are a couple of her paintings*:


(Can't display them here on Blogspot, but they can be viewed on MySpace)








P.S.Art? I just checked out your work on Delicious Demon. Don't quit your day job just yet.


(Deeplip)



"For Every Man, There's A Woman"


Current mood: selflessly supportive

Category: Romance and Relationships


It's never too late to find true love. Today is Ken's seventieth birthday, and he should be celebrating it in the arms of an adoring woman.

Unfortunately, when it comes to love and sex, Ken has issues. He says in his profile, he's "living alone but not loving it". That's heartbreaking.

I know Ken inside and out, so I took this test for him. If he makes a few minor attitude adjustments, he'll find the happiness that has eluded him for so long.


Are you ready for a new relationship?

By Kathryn Lord Special to Yahoo! Personals


Does it surprise you that so many people say they want to establish a relationship, but seem to fail time after time?


Use this quick self-assessment to find out how really relationship ready you are. Answer "Yes," "No," or "Sort of" -- to the following questions the following:

1. Do you have a crystal clear, realistic vision of the relationship you want?

Yes No Sort of

2. Do you know the steps you need to take to make that relationship happen?

Yes No Sort of

3. Are you aware of and do you emphasize your best personal qualities?

Yes No Sort of

4. Have you made a clear choice to do what you need to do to bring a partner into your life?

Yes No Sort of

5. Do you have a support team around you, cheering you on in your mate search?

Yes No Sort of

6. Have you reviewed your past relationships carefully and learned what you could about their pluses and minuses? Have you looked at the actions and reactions on both sides of the relationship -- yours and your partner's?

Yes No Sort of

7. Do you know how to keep your energy up during your search?

Yes No Sort of

8. Have you finished the business, emotional and otherwise, that was left over from your past relationships?

Yes No Sort of

9. Have thoroughly inventoried yourself and your surroundings, and done what you can do to present the whole of you in the best possible light?

Yes No Sort of


10. Are you keeping yourself intellectually stimulated and interesting?

Yes No Sort of

11. Are your finances in good shape and can you explain them to a new partner?

Yes No Sort of

12. Are you ready to be honest and open about your life, sharing what might be painful or embarrassing information that your new partner should know?

Yes No Sort of
13. Do you have a good, positive attitude that is readily communicated communicated about relationships, men and women, and potential partners?

Yes No Sort of


Calculate your score. You will receive two points for every "Yes," one point for "Sort of," and no points for every "No." Add up the results.

Give yourself two points for every "Yes" answer, one point for "Sort of," and no points for every "No." Add up the results.


____________________________________________________________


From Unreqwerty'd Love: The Story of Belle and Play:

FOR EVERY MAN THERE'S A WOMAN (HAIKU)



For every man there's
a woman and for every
fish a bicycle.



Update: The women are out there, and single men your age are in short supply. You can afford to be choosy.

Take that first step, Ken. You deserve to wake up next to something warm and cuddly .

(Picture of a group of elderly women in a nursing home, which can be seen on MySpace)

Maybe you should reconsider your options before all the younger, more desirable women lose interest. Do you know the African proverb about the man who has to choose a potato? He is allowed only one. He digs them up, one at a time, hoping to find a large potato, but knowing he can't go back to a previous one, once he's rejected it. Needless to say, he ends up with a small one.

Actually, I prefer small ones ...... but that's another story.



(Deeplip)