Saturday, July 29, 2006

Celebrity Justice

Current mood: cynical

Category: cynical News and Politics

NewsTrack - Top News

Deputy: Mel Gibson obscene after arrest

MALIBU, Calif., July 29 (UPI) -- Actor Mel Gibson cursed at a police officer who arrested him for drunk driving in California and made anti-Semitic remarks, reported.

Gibson was pulled over on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu early Friday morning. said the Los Angeles sheriff's deputy who stopped the Oscar-winning filmmaker reported that Gibson became truculent, using obscenities, threatening to "get even" and asking him if he was a Jew.

The Web site says that after Deputy James Mee wrote a full report describing Gibson's behavior, superior officers decided it was "inflammatory."

They allegedly talked about Gibson's movie, "The Passion of the Christ," which was described in some quarters as anti-Semitic, and worried about the effect of press reports of Gibson's behavior given the situation in the Middle East.

Mee was reportedly told to write an expurgated version of his report and promised that the full report would go to the District Attorney, reported.


According to news reports, "Gibson's 2006 Lexus was speeding on the Pacific Coast Highway when officers stopped him at 2.36am (local time) today, Los Angeles County Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

The 50-year-old actor and director, whose 2004 film The Passion of the Christ was a smash hit, was going 140 kph in a 72 kph zone when he was stopped, and officers smelled alcohol on his breath, Whitmore said.

"He was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence," Whitmore said.

Gibson was given a sobriety test, and a subsequent breath test indicated his blood alcohol level was 0.12 per cent, Whitmore said. The legal limit in California is 0.08 per cent."

Whitmore said Gibson was given a citation, and the matter would be reviewed by detectives to determine if drink driving charges would be filed at a future date (my italics).


Good thing he didn't throw a telephone.


From the

Sheriff's deputies arrest Gibson for alleged DUI

Mel Gibson was arrested in Malibu early Friday on suspicion that he might have indulged in a little passion of the Schlitz before driving.

Actually, we don't know what he's alleged to have been imbibing, but "passion of the pinot noir" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it? In any event, Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputies said he was booked on suspicion of driving under the influence.


How about "Passion of the Cristol"? The man can certainly afford it.

Less Is More

Current mood: euphoric

Category: euphoric Romance and Relationships


Curiously enough, I can't get very descriptive or prolix about you. I love you, you love me, and it's great. I think that covers it.


Hold that thought, baby.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Stick A Fork In Him, He's Done

Current mood: dismayed

Category: News and Politics


Sharon rushed to intensive care unit

46 minutes ago

Former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was rushed to the intensive care unit of a Tel Aviv hospital Wednesday to undergo a form of dialysis, a hospital spokeswoman said. Sharon's condition deteriorated significantly earlier in the week.

He has been in a coma since suffering a massive stroke Jan. 4.

Sharon's blood will be filtered to remove excess fluids that have been accumulating in his body, Shiba Hospital said in a statement. He is also receiving antibiotics intravenously to treat a bacterial infection in his blood.

Hospital spokeswoman Anat Dolev declined to answer further questions.


Apparently, the insensate mass of protoplasm that once was Ariel Sharon can be kept alive indefinitely. Who benefits?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Last Weekend

Current mood: deeply satisfied

Category: Romance and Relationships

About all I'm gonna say is that Phil and I spent four days and three nights together, getting to know each other in every possible way, and that eventually the socks did come off.

How could it be otherwise?


Phil Armstrong:

No - socks was not part of the deal. No complaints, though. The chicken was very good.


Socks was part of my deal, Mr. Armstrong - and taking them off was one of several "firsts". Another "first" took place in the shower, as you may recall, at your request. Twice, as a matter of fact.

I wouldn't know about the chicken ....

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Men Flying Into Newark Airport And The Women Who Love Them

Current mood: indescribable

Category: Romance and Relationships

My darling PA,

It might help to know that I will be driving a purplish-brown Ford Windstar. I'll be easy to spot. I will have the headlights on, but my breasts will be covered. I will keep circling until I see you at the end of the sidewalk. When you exit the American Airlines terminal, just walk right and wait for me. Wear a red rose in your lapel, so I don't take the wrong man home with me.

Newark Airport has very tight security - they don't let us pull over and wait to pick up passengers, and the end of the sidewalk is about the only place cars can loiter for a moment - unless, of course, you're a chauffeur or somebody driving a limo. That's why it's better not to wait for me directly in front of the terminal doors. It's much too crowded, and people double park and block the lane.

And no, PA, it's not "a thousand yards". Would I make you walk that far?

My cell will be charged if you need to call. XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Your Athena.

phil armstrong

Roses won't be so easy to come by when I leave for the airport at 4:00 AM. I will be wearing a black polo shirt and khaki slacks and carrying a large nylon duffel bag. I won't be bringing a jacket or necktie. PA


Come as you are, baby. Don't forget to bring those little red and blue twinkling lights.

phil armstrong

Many thanks for that reminder.


I love a man who's into feng shui.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

You Never Get A Second Chance To Make A Good First Impression Naked

Current mood: apprehensive

Category: Romance and Relationships

A recent email from an anonymous admirer:

I was thinking of your tits quite a bit last night. And all the rest.


I lie awake dreading the moment when I will have to show you my pooch, and I'm wondering if - at least for our first encounter - I could wear a long, wide sash, wrapped tightly from three or four inches below the navel to just above the pubic bone.

It wouldn't interfere with any of our scheduled activities.

phil armstrong

Your admirers are legion and on view for all!

Posted by phil armstrong on Sunday, July 16, 2006 at 4:18 PM

As long as it's my admirers who are "on view for all " to see, and not me. And while we're on the subject of who gets to see what, I don't show my feet to anyone. The socks stay on.

Posted by Connie on Sunday, July 16, 2006 at 6:01 PM


Perfect. Fascinating.The partially clothed body is often the most alluring and erotic. That and the first kiss. Together they can flood the body with dreams and ambition untold.

Posted by Lydecker on Monday, July 17, 2006 at 11:32 AM

phil armstrong

I need copious amounts of lemonade with cayenne, vinegar, and pounds of rare prime steak to load my musk into my territorial spray. Want to put it all in a blender and have a shake ready for me when I hit the ground?

Posted by phil armstrong on Monday, July 17, 2006 at 9:46 PM

No need to rush. You can mark your territory later. Besides, I'd rather you peed on the pachysandra at night, when my neighbors are asleep.

Posted by Connie on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 at 12:51 PM

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

My Lips Are Sealed

Current mood: circumspect

Romance and Relationships

Email exchange between Mr. Armstrong and me:

Date: Jul 12, 2006 11:33 AM

I was asking last night if what you read to your group was on your myspace blog. Somehow, I don't think you read bad boy to them. Please clarify!

Date: July 12, 2006 11:47 AM

No, Pee-ay, it was a blog about Cialis. I'd never read "Bad Boy" to the group. What we have is sacred, and only to be shared with the ninety million plus members of myspace.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Bad Boys And The Women Who Love Them

Current mood: depraved
Category: Romance and Relationships

Mr. Armstrong's Comment:

Hot and very humid in Hunt County, Texas. The sins of the year pile up for accounting around now. Is there anything I should do before the amnesty starts?

My Reply:

What amnesty?

No sinning whatsoever until July twenty-first. Then as much sinning as desired until the twenty-fourth. And remember, once you're back in Texas, that's a no-sin zone.

Don't forget to bring the padded footstool.

(Deeplip, who says, "What happens in East Brunswick stays in Easy Brunswick.")


Lately, the weather in New Jersey has been very hot and humid. I can't afford to run the AC, so naturally, I've accumulated some sins of my own. Remember we discussed the possibility of your bringing a silk rope, and I told you no way would I allow you to tie me up like that poor Japanese woman in the picture you sent me with all her naughty bits on display?

Bring the rope.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Progress Report

Current mood: celebratory

Category: Romance and Relationships

Posted Friday, December 23, 2005:

Out With The Old, In With The New

Current mood: conciliatory

Category: Romance and Relationships

My New Year's Resolutions:

1) Lose weight.
2) Find the right old man.
3) Stop posting about Ken Brown.

That's the list --- not necessarily in that order. The easiest by far would be #3. If Kenneth H. Brown refrains from posting about me here and elsewhere, I'll stop posting about his sorry ass. I'm as tired of all this as he is. How about it, Ken? Had enough?


1) Nope. Not yet.
2) Yes*
3) Who is Ken Brown?

*He's eight years younger than I am, but you can't have everything .......

8:23 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos -

lets be realistic now connie.....#3???

1/2 kudo
Posted by
Pun_Intended on Thursday, July 06, 2006 at 8:40 PM

Pun! You never call, you never write. Half a kudos? BTW, the word is singular.

Posted by
Connie on Friday, July 07, 2006 at 9:46 AM

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


Current mood: reflective

Category: Writing and Poetry

Corn fields
Drug deals
Saying grace
Spraying Mace

Hot tubs
Billy clubs
Styling mousse
Child abuse

Apple pie
Star Search
Strip Search

Empty Nests
Urine Tests
Hand Guns

Topless Bars
Past Lives
Battered wives
Big Macs
Heart Attacks

Mickey Mouse
Crack house
College Boards
Slum lords
Blue corn
Kiddie porn


Cell phones
Nursing homes
Jello molds

Vanna White
Urban Blight
Game Shows
Death Rows

Shopping carts
Body parts
Rock'n' Roll
Gun control

Early detection
Lethal Injection

End Zone

Juice bars
Porn Stars
Food Courts
Anal warts
Safe Sex

Spiced Ham
Son of Sam
Surrogate Moms
Hydrogen bombs

Ground Zero
Austin Powers
Twin Towers
Potato chips

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mr. Armstrong's Offer

Current mood: don't ask

Category: Romance and Relationships

I love a man who is handy. In addition to my box, I have a large, upright chest in need of attention. And while you're at it, could you take a look at my back door?

Saturday, July 01, 2006

How Many Naked Emperors Does It Take To Write A Poem?

Current mood: iconoclastic

Writing and Poetry


Pull my daisy
tip my cup
all my doors are open
cut my thoughts
for coconuts
all my eggs are broken.

(Kerouac, Ginsberg, Cassady)


Pull my finger
kiss my grits
all my lines are busy
Cut my seams
for Krispy Kremes
dance me till I'm dizzy.