Sunday, August 23, 2009

Getting Away With Murder Just Got Easier


Murdered Model Identified By Implants

When Jasmine Fiore's body was discovered in a dumpster in Buena Park, Ca. her fingers had been cut off and all of her teeth had been pulled out, but thanks to the serial number in her breast implants, Police were able to identify her and start the investigation into her death. "We actually have had several cases where we identified the victim or the defendant in that way," Orange County District Attorney spokeswoman Susan Schroeder tells People. She says implants carry serial numbers "because of the potential for recalls."


Susan Schroeder's job is going to get a lot harder. Thanks to her press release, savvy killers will lop off the breasts of women with implants before dumping them, fingerless and toothless, in the trash.

Sunday, August 16, 2009


At a town meeting on health care in Grand Junction, Colorado, President Obama addressed each of the three women with questions as "young lady". The first woman looked to be fiftyish, the second woman could have been in her mid- thirties, and the last woman was elderly.

I'm sure he would have objected if Lindsey Graham had addressed Sonia Sotomayor as "young lady" during the confirmation hearings.

It's ok to call us women, Barack. That's what we are. And could you lose the "boy/girl" routine? We expect more from you.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Grab Your Love Handles and Spread 'Em

HOUSTON (AP) – An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.

Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.


Is that a gun in your navel, or are you just happy to see me?