Riddle of the Day

When is a black man with a backpack not a black man with a back pack? When he's a Moroccan with a suitcase.

Who Shook the Ugly Tree?


There once was a Doctor named Klein
Who bragged, "Michael's children are mine".
It's hard to believe
Debbie Rowe could conceive
If the donor sperm came from a swine.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up



The cop who arrested Henry Louis Gates was named Jim Crow(ley).

Domiciled While Black


From The Christian Scientist Monitor Online:

The Cambridge, Mass. police officer accused of “acting stupidly” by President Obama and repeatedly assailed as racist by Harvard professor Louis Henry Gates began to tell his own story Thursday, talking at length to the media for the first time since the incident.

Oh, please. He didn't wait to "tell his own story". He told his story when he wrote up the police report.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Staples Center


A tisket, a tasket
There's no one in the casket
They put his body in the hearse
But on the way they lost it

They lost it, they lost it
And on the way they lost it
And if nobody brings it back
I think that I shall die

"Everything Old is New Again"




"Where's the Music?" (Parody of "Human Nature")


Look around - where's the music?
Someone took it away
All I hear is Michael Jackson
'Cause that's all they play
See him hide behind dark glasses
One white glove in the air
What's he like? What's his problem?
I don't even care .... and I say
Why .. why .. why must I hear Michael Jackson?
Why .. why .. do they play him all day?
Why .. why .. I'm so tired of Michael Jackson
Why .. why .. won't he just go away?
Check him out - look him over
Things are not what they seem
Lips so thin - nose so narrow
Plastic surgeon's dream!
All that rouge and mascara
All that lipstick and gloss
Now I know who he looks like!
It's Diana Ross! .... and I say
Why .. why .. why must I hear Michael Jackson?
Why .. why .. do they play him all day?
Why .. why .. I'm so tired of Michael Jackson
Why .. why .. won't he just go away?
I don't care what they say!
Wish he'd just go away!
Far ... far ... away .....
Far ... far ... away .....
In The Globe and The Enquirer
At the checkout display
"Michael's Hair Catches Fire"
"Is He Straight Or Gay?".... and I say
Why .. why .. Why must I hear Michael Jackson?
Why .. why .. do they play him all day?
Why .. why .. I'm so tired of Michael Jackson
Why .. why .. wish he'd just go away!
I don't care what they say!
Wish he'd just go away!
Wish he'd just go away!
Far ... far ... away .....
Far ... far ... away .....

Silence Is Golden


There was an old windbag named Ken
Who posted again and again
He's mean, and a bore
(We just click "ignore")
All Praise Be to Pork Chop, Amen!

Out of the Mouths of Babes


From "Why Sarah Palin Quit" (TIME Magazine)

"Some are going to question the timing of this and let me just say that this decision has been in the works for a while. In fact this decision comes after much consideration," Palin said, holding up her left index finger as she amended her thought, "Much prayer and consideration. And finally, I polled the most important people in my life, my kids. And the count was unanimous. While in response to asking, 'Hey, do you want me to be a positive influence and fight for all our children's futures from outside the governor's office?' it was four yeses and one 'Hell, yeah.' The 'Hell, yeah' sold it."

------------------------------------------------------

I'd be interested in knowing if fourteen-month-old Trig is the one who voted, "Hell, yeah." I suspect he was, since he stands to lose the most if Mom's busy schedule keeps her away from home.

I'm impressed that he was able to participate in the decision-making process at such a tender age.

Staying the Course


From The Daily News.com


In a recent interview with Runner's World, the governor of Alaska expressed how she'd do in a race against President Obama.

"If [it] were a long race that required a lot of endurance I'd win," she said, boasting that while she may lack the physical strength to take on the President, she could outlast him by sheer will power.

"I betcha I'd have more endurance," she said. "If you ever talk to my old coaches they'd tell you, too. What I lacked in physical strength or skill I made up for in determination and endurance."


----------------------------------------------------


I'm not so sure about Palin's determination and endurance. Most elected governors finish out their terms. Maybe instead of challenging Obama to a race, Palin should just ask her hunky husband Todd to beat the crap out of him.

Full-blown, or just blown?


From Reuters.com:

After initial effusive apologies to his wife, family, staff and South Carolinians, Sanford has talked more openly about what he called the "love story" of his affair and has also spoken of encounters with other women that stopped short of full-blown affairs.

---------------------------------------------------

Mark Sanford insists he "didn't have sex" with these women. I'm betting he didn't have sex the same way that Bill Clinton didn't have sex with Monica Lewinski.

Face it, fellas -- you're having sex. It's the women who aren't having sex.

Strike of the Sword


According to a Fox TV News Report, "U.S. Marines are pouring into a Taliban-infested valley".

Interesting choice of words. We "pour into" , they "infest".

Be careful what you wish for, even in cyberspace.


What's worse than being banned from your favorite website?

Being able to post, but not knowing if anyone actually reads your posts, because they now have the ability to anonymously block you. You have no way of knowing who's tuning you out.

That would make a normal person paranoid. What it will do to a man who's already paranoid, only time will tell.

Vengeance Is Mine, Saith The Lord

Sometimes after God
closes a door, He opens
a can of whup-ass.