Monday, October 27, 2008

More Bang For Your Buck

Boy, 8, shot to death in Mass. gun show accident

39 mins ago (AP)

WESTFIELD, Mass. – An 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing an Uzi submachine gun under adult supervision at a gun fair.

The boy lost control of the weapon while firing it Sunday at the Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the Westfield Sportsman's Club, Police Lt. Lawrence Valliere said.

The boy was with a certified instructor and "was shooting the weapon down range when the force of the weapon made it travel up and back toward his head, where he suffered the injury," a police statement said. Police called it a "self-inflicted accidental shooting."

The victim was taken to Baystate Medical Center where he died. His name was not released.

Although the death appears to be an accident, police and the Hampden district attorney's office were investigating, officials said.

The club said on its Web site that the event, run in conjunction with C.O.P Firearms and Training, is "all legal and fun." People will be allowed to fire weapons at vehicles, pumpkins and other targets, it said.


My generation had legal fun playing cops and robbers with cap pistols. What has happened to this country?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Police: McCain volunteer made up robbery story

By Joe Mandak, Associated Press Writer 9 mins ago

PITTSBURGH – A McCain campaign volunteer made up a story of being robbed, pinned to the ground and having the letter "B" scratched on her face in a politically inspired attack, police said Friday.

Ashley Todd, 20-year-old college student from College Station, Texas, admitted Friday that the story was false and was being charged with making a false report to police, said Maurita Bryant, the assistant chief of the police department's investigations division. Police doubted her story from the start, Bryant said.

Todd, who is white, told police she was attacked by a 6-foot-4 black man Wednesday night. She now can't explain why she invented the story, Bryant said.

Todd also told police she believes she cut the backward "B" onto her own cheek, but she didn't explain how or why, Bryant said.

Todd initially told investigators she was attempting to use a bank branch ATM when the man approached her from behind, put a knife with a 4- to 5-inch blade to her throat and demanded money. She told police she handed the assailant $60 and walked away.

Todd told investigators that she suspected the man then noticed a John McCain sticker on her car, became angry and punched her in the back of the head, knocking her to the ground and telling her "you are going to be a Barack supporter," police said.

She said he continued to punch and kick her while threatening "to teach her a lesson for being a McCain supporter," police said. She said he then sat on her chest, pinned her hands down with his knees and scratched a backward letter "B" into her face with a dull knife.

Todd told police she didn't seek medical attention, but instead went to a friend's apartment nearby and called police about 45 minutes later.

The Associated Press could not immediately locate Todd's family.

Bryant said somebody charged with making a false report would typically be cited and sent a summons. But because police have concerns about Todd's mental health, they are consulting with the Allegheny County District Attorney. She remained in custody and was awaiting arraignment.

Todd worked in New York for the College Republican National Committee before moving two weeks ago to Pennsylvania, where her duties included recruiting college students, the committee's executive director, Ethan Eilon, has said.

Eilon declined to comment on the investigation Friday or to help The Associated Press contact Todd.

Earlier Friday, police said they had found inconsistencies in Todd's story. They gave her a lie-detector test, but wouldn't release the polygraph results. Investigators also said bank surveillance photos did not back up the woman's initial story of being attacked at an ATM.

Police interviewed Todd after she contacted police Wednesday night and again on Thursday, Bryant said. They asked her to come back Friday, ostensibly to help police put together a sketch of the man. Instead, detectives began interviewing her.

"They just started talking to her and she just opened up and said she wanted to tell the truth," Bryant said.

Bryant said it doesn't appear that anyone else put the woman up to the false report.

Police suspected all along that Todd might not be telling the truth, starting with the fact that the "B" was backward, Bryant said.

"We have robbers here in Pittsburgh, but they don't generally mutilate someone's face like that," Bryant said. "They just take the money and run."


McCain needs a new icon. Joe the Plumber is so last week. Ashley the Cutter is a young, fresh (albeit scarred) face, who can be the poster child for self-mutilation and dyslexia.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Robin Hood vs. Robbin' Hood

Both Obama and McCain want to "spread the wealth". Obama wants to take from the very wealthy and give to the middle class. McCain wants to take from the middle class and give to the super rich.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Ode to Bible Spice

Sarah Palin
makes me sick.
She puts the ick
in maverick.

HENDERSON, Nevada (CNN) – Joe Biden warned supporters Friday night to not get comfortable with the Democratic ticket’s current lead in the polls, saying Republicans may have
thrown the kitchen sink but “other parts of the bathroom are coming.”


The basin, the bathtub, the toilet and then, ass-over-elbows, the plumber.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands

Suit against God thrown out over lack of address

By Nate Jenkins, Associated Press Writer Wed Oct 15, 8:42 PM ET

A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served due to his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.

He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers has said he filed the lawsuit to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor.

On Tuesday, however, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward.

"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Polk wrote.

Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, thinks he's found a hole in the judge's ruling.

"The court itself acknowledges the existence of God," Chambers said Wednesday. "A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience."

Therefore, Chambers said, "Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."

Chambers has 30 days to decide whether to appeal. He said he hasn't decided yet.

Chambers, who has served a record 38 years in the Nebraska Legislature, is not returning next year because of term limits. He skips morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians.


The judge is wrong. God does have a home address, and it's everywhere. Not only is the Almighty omniscient, He is omnipresent. God is going to get the paperwork even if it is flushed down the toilet.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Caylee Was Only Two

Missing Fla. girl's mom appears in court; no bond

By Mark Wangrin, Associated Press Writer Wed Oct 15, 10:42 AM ET

ORLANDO, Fla. - The mother of a missing 3-year-old Florida girl went before a judge Wednesday to hear charges she killed her daughter, a day after she was indicted following four months of searches that yielded no sign of the child.


Let's set the record straight: This little girl died months before her third birthday. The Anthony family continued to insist, despite damning forensic evidence, that Caylee was alive, and they held a "welcome home" birthday party for her. She then, of course, became "a missing 3-year-old". Throwing a birthday party for a dead 2-year-old child doesn't make her any older, and referring to little Caylee as 3 only makes a heartbreakingly sad story even sadder.

Monday, October 06, 2008


What cabinet position is held by Henry Paulson? Secretary of the Treachery.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Time Wounds All Heels

Sarah Palin's Achilles Heel is that she has absolutely no idea what one is. In last night's debate, when asked to cite a personal weakness, she touted her accomplishments.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

You Read It Here First

October remains the month for political surprises

By Glen Johnson, Associated Press Writer 2 hours, 3 minutes ago

Heading into the final weekend of the 2004 presidential campaign, John Kerry was feeling good about his chances of winning the White House.

The Democratic nominee thought he had bested President Bush in their three prime-time debates. He also felt he'd convinced Americans his military and foreign affairs experience left him better equipped to end the Iraqi war.

Then Osama bin Laden weighed in with the most recent "October surprise" to land with a thud on a presidential campaign.

Kerry believes bin Laden cost him the presidency by issuing a videotape that criticized Bush and warned U.S. voters that "your security is in your own hands" in the election. And the Massachusetts senator thinks that's instructive for both Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain during the final month of their campaign.


Get ready for the Republicans to release a fake Osama bin Laden tape, in which he urges Americans to vote for Obama.