Monday, March 13, 2006

Monday, March 13, 2006 (A slew of posts from MySpace)

Same Shit, Different Day

Current mood: melancholy

Category: Romance and Relationships

A SONG (Joseph Brodsky)

I wish you were here, dear, I wish you were here.
I wish you sat on the sofa
and I sat near.
the handkerchief could be yours,
the tear could be mine, chin-bound
Though it could be, of course,
the other way around.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish we were in my car,
and you'd shift the gear.
we'd find ourselves elsewhere,
on an unknown shore.
Or else we'd repair
To where we've been before.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish I knew no astronomy
when stars appear,
when the moon skims the water
that sighs and shifts in its slumber.
I wish it were still a quarter
to dial your number.

I wish you were here, dear,
in this hemisphere,
as I sit on the porch
sipping a beer.
It's evening, the sun is setting;
boys shout and gulls are crying.
What's the point of forgetting
If it's followed by dying?

A SONG (Deeplip)

I wish you were here, dear, I wish you were here.
I wish you sat on the sofa
and I sat near.
the handcuffs could be yours,
the rear could be mine, chain-bound.
Though it could be, of course,
the other way around.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish we were in my bed,
and you'd nibble my ear.
we'd find ourselves elsewhere,
And we could explore
Devil may care
Till our bodies were sore.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here.
I wish I knew no anatomy
when stars appear,
when the moon skims the water
that sighs and shifts in its slumber.
I dream I'm a peach
and you are a cucumber.

I wish you were here, dear,
I wish you were here,
as I mope in my room
shedding a tear.
It's evening, the sun is setting;
neighbors grill, burgers are smoking
What's the point of forgetting
If it's followed by croaking?


Fantasy Is The New Reality

Current mood: longing for a corporeal relationship

Category: Romance and Relationships


On the internet
it's easy to find men who
don't want to meet you.


Ashbery, O'Hara, Koch, Schuyler, and Perkin

Current mood: awed

Category: Writing and Poetry

It's three in the afternoon here, and I just received this email from someone named Willis:

Ever assume your teeny

Good evening Cerew,

Crazy ur GF's complained about u in the nighttime activities. That's why
there's, (spam address deleted by Deeplip) Philip and me both
use them and have nothing but praises for them. nd this makes the Chinese government statistics completely off. Thesechildren are not allowed to go to schoo.l, and later will have difficulty obtaining permission to marry, torelocate, and for other life choices requiring the govern. "So I'm toblame!." (39)The setting of the play is the Tyrones' Puritan New Englandhome, which provides for many of the arguments that take place .

See ya


Perkin has successfully severed the connection between words and meaning - something the New York School of Poets always attempted, but only occasionally succeeded in doing.
This is the raw stuff of great poetry. A little editing and some well-placed line breaks and voila! A masterpiece!
I salute him.


Teat For Tat

Current mood: unembarrassed

Category: Romance and Relationships

Well, the twins continue to provoke controversy and curiosity, even in their absence.
Here's an excerpt from a friend's email:

Missed "The Twins," must not have been posted very long.

My reply:

The twins were "featured" very briefly - just overnight.I wanted to make a statement that old women are sexual beings who have bodies -- and that our youth-obsessed culture should get used to it and get over it.

Apparently, seeing me in a bra was too much for my grandson and Pun.The twins can still be viewed if you click on "view more pics", but only if you are a MySpace member*, so I'll send them via email.

With near-nudity rampant on MySpace (not to mention the full-frontal profiles pics of young woman and medical textbook close-ups of erect penises) you'd think a little cleavage wouldn't rate a second look.

I posted a two-year-old pic of me wearing an old, tattered, unpadded bra from Sears because I believe in truth in advertising, and I wanted to give the lie to three unspoken, but universally accepted beliefs:

1) Old women aren't supposed to display their bodies.

2) Old women no longer have sexual thoughts and feelings..

3) All women over sixty are withered crones - unless they've been surgically enhanced, or "photo-shopped".

If I can be earthy and explicit when I write, then I ought to be able to post a slightly risque picture - but obviously, the young folks aren't ready for it.

*Many of my friends who are not MySpace members check out my blog on Google by typing "deeplip" into the "I'm Feeling Lucky" box. That takes them straight to my blog, where they
can read the latest entry and several recent ones. They can also access the archives if they
have "skilz". The only thing they can't do as non -members is navigate the MySpace website.


Grannies Gone Wild

Current mood: accommodating

Category: Romance and Relationships

There's nothing like showing a little skin to attract attention, but I've decided to stick with my face from 1953, and relegate the twins to the "view other pics" section of my profile.

I hope my grandson and Pun will forgive my momentary lapse in judgement.

I wanted to make a statement about my sexuality. I still have breasts. They are nice ones, and they are user-friendly.

(Deeplip, who thinks MySpace is as good a place as any to take a stand against ageism.)

"Hello, Young Lovers, Wherever You Are ....."

Current mood: mildly depressed

Category: Romance and Relationships


Hey There!


Hey, what's up? I stopped by your profile and thought you seemd cool. I am trying to find someone who has 100% for every skill, so let me know if you do and check out my page.


What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
What is your name and age?
What is your gender?
What is your sexual orientation?

Results (sample results shown on a line graph )

Flirting Skill Level
Kissing Skill Level
Cuddling Skill Level
Sex Skill Level

Just got this MySpace questionaire from "Marcus".

He is probably not a real person, so I won't waste my time and energy getting pissed off at him.

1) I don't fllirt.

2) Kissing and cuddling? It takes two to tango.

3) Unless you are masturbating, it is impossible to evaluate your own sexual performance.

Sorry, Marcus. I can't answer those questions, and at my age, the men who could answer them are all dead.


I've Got T-Shirts Older Than You Are

Current mood: irate

Category: Romance and Relationships

From: peter

Date: Mar 9, 2006 7:41 PM hello,am peter by name am into Export of coller over the West Africa and some undevelop country in europe. am looking for the woman of my dreams get back to me as soon as you receive this message.the woman that will care about me and the one i will care for.I promise to always be there, love you and always hold you in my heart. I will always be here for you when you need me most and I will love you no matter what life brings to us .You are my soul, peter.

Oy fucking vey! From now on, I am publicly posting all such "mass mailings"..... and I'm not deleting the senders' names.

I do not appreciate being spammed.

There are millions of attractive young women on MySpace, and I find it hard to believe that a handsome young devil like you (that IS your picture, right?) has - out of the blue - chosen me to be his life's companion and soulmate. Take a hike, Peter. I like them old and wrinkled. And I do mean "them" - the men and their appendages. Get my drift?



The Joy Of Forgetting

Current mood: live and let live

Category: News and Politics

Grape Juice Good for Aging Brain (from the internet)

Antioxidants may help keep memory on track, rat study shows

(HealthDay News) -- Antioxidant-rich concord grape juice may help keep aging brains limber, a study with rats suggests.

The study -- partly funded by grape juice maker Welch Foods Inc. -- included mature rats nearing the end of their expected life spans. Researchers put the rodents through a series of tests designed to measure their short-term memory and neuro-motor skills.

"Concord grape juice appeared to enhance the cognitive and some motor skills in the test animals. In many of the tests we saw significant improvements or trends toward improvement," lead researcher James Joseph, chief of the neurosciences laboratory at the U.S. Department of Agriculture Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University, said in a prepared statement.

"As our population ages, we are continually looking for ways to maintain our mental and physical skills," Joseph noted.

"While these laboratory animal studies are certainly preliminary and much more work needs to be done, we know that consuming high levels of natural dietary antioxidants is a good thing from a number of perspectives. And it appears that drinking Concord grape juice has the potential to help retard the mental and physical declines of aging."

The findings appear in the March issue of the journal Nutrition.

More information

The American Heart Association has more about antioxidants


Who says lab rats want to remember anything? They might prefer to forget the past, kick back and get a buzz on - even if it costs them a few million brain cells. After all, it's not like they are using them for anything.
Maybe Jack Daniel's should fund a study to see if old rats prefer whiskey to grape juice. I personally know one who does, but he admits only to having a couple glasses of wine with dinner.


My Grandmother Was An Artist

Current mood: snarky

Category: Life

Many of the museums and galleries won't let you copy images from the internet unless you are a subscriber, but here are a couple of her paintings*:

(Can't display them here on Blogspot, but they can be viewed on MySpace)

P.S.Art? I just checked out your work on Delicious Demon. Don't quit your day job just yet.


"For Every Man, There's A Woman"

Current mood: selflessly supportive

Category: Romance and Relationships

It's never too late to find true love. Today is Ken's seventieth birthday, and he should be celebrating it in the arms of an adoring woman.

Unfortunately, when it comes to love and sex, Ken has issues. He says in his profile, he's "living alone but not loving it". That's heartbreaking.

I know Ken inside and out, so I took this test for him. If he makes a few minor attitude adjustments, he'll find the happiness that has eluded him for so long.

Are you ready for a new relationship?

By Kathryn Lord Special to Yahoo! Personals

Does it surprise you that so many people say they want to establish a relationship, but seem to fail time after time?

Use this quick self-assessment to find out how really relationship ready you are. Answer "Yes," "No," or "Sort of" -- to the following questions the following:

1. Do you have a crystal clear, realistic vision of the relationship you want?

Yes No Sort of

2. Do you know the steps you need to take to make that relationship happen?

Yes No Sort of

3. Are you aware of and do you emphasize your best personal qualities?

Yes No Sort of

4. Have you made a clear choice to do what you need to do to bring a partner into your life?

Yes No Sort of

5. Do you have a support team around you, cheering you on in your mate search?

Yes No Sort of

6. Have you reviewed your past relationships carefully and learned what you could about their pluses and minuses? Have you looked at the actions and reactions on both sides of the relationship -- yours and your partner's?

Yes No Sort of

7. Do you know how to keep your energy up during your search?

Yes No Sort of

8. Have you finished the business, emotional and otherwise, that was left over from your past relationships?

Yes No Sort of

9. Have thoroughly inventoried yourself and your surroundings, and done what you can do to present the whole of you in the best possible light?

Yes No Sort of

10. Are you keeping yourself intellectually stimulated and interesting?

Yes No Sort of

11. Are your finances in good shape and can you explain them to a new partner?

Yes No Sort of

12. Are you ready to be honest and open about your life, sharing what might be painful or embarrassing information that your new partner should know?

Yes No Sort of
13. Do you have a good, positive attitude that is readily communicated communicated about relationships, men and women, and potential partners?

Yes No Sort of

Calculate your score. You will receive two points for every "Yes," one point for "Sort of," and no points for every "No." Add up the results.

Give yourself two points for every "Yes" answer, one point for "Sort of," and no points for every "No." Add up the results.


From Unreqwerty'd Love: The Story of Belle and Play:


For every man there's
a woman and for every
fish a bicycle.

Update: The women are out there, and single men your age are in short supply. You can afford to be choosy.

Take that first step, Ken. You deserve to wake up next to something warm and cuddly .

(Picture of a group of elderly women in a nursing home, which can be seen on MySpace)

Maybe you should reconsider your options before all the younger, more desirable women lose interest. Do you know the African proverb about the man who has to choose a potato? He is allowed only one. He digs them up, one at a time, hoping to find a large potato, but knowing he can't go back to a previous one, once he's rejected it. Needless to say, he ends up with a small one.

Actually, I prefer small ones ...... but that's another story.