Friday, April 14, 2006

You Want To Do WHAT?

Current mood: still slightly agitated

Category: Life

On Yahoo's home page, there's a public service ad sponsored by

I can't cut and paste it, since it's interactive, so I'll describe it for you.

A decrepit, elderly couple - a dour man in geezer shades and a beige cap and a half-smiling woman wearing pearls and an atrocious flower print blouse - are clutching each other and staring off into space. Are they sick, cured, dying? Do they both have cancer? I'm betting it's just him. Why is she smiling? Is she happy it's him and not her?

To the left of the couple is a sinister logo - a three dimensional bull's-eye, which looks like the inside of someone's yazoo as viewed through a proctoscope.

Most disconcerting of all, under the picture is the caption, "roll over for more information".

Roll over? Surely, you can't be talking to me? Ladies, haven't we all heard that line before? It signals the surprise rectal exam, often performed on a young, attractive female patient who came in for a prescription refill or a throat culture. It is usually preceded by a lengthy breast exam. I used to wonder why a complete gynecological work up wasn't also performed - until I realized allergists and cardiologists don't have stirrups attached to their examining tables.

I stared at the ad in shocked disbelief for about a minute before I realized I was being told to roll my cursor over the picture.