Monday, February 06, 2006

The Superbowl Is A Crock (week-end posts from MySpace)

Male Bonding

Current mood: wondering what all the fuss is about

Category: Life

Junk food. Gambling. Alcohol. Loud arguments. Testosterone-fueled violence on and off-screen.

What could be more American than Superbowl Sunday? Let's face it - we need a new national holiday. Thanksgiving is depressing as hell and everybody knows it. Give us bread and circuses, not turkey.

Every year, some poor bastard watching the game ends up getting shot or stabbed by a close friend or relative - usually because of something as trivial as a disputed bag of chips or a bad call by the ref.

It's always men who get shot or stabbed. Women just get the shit kicked out of them after the game, if the wrong team wins.

"When The Moment Is Right, Will You Be Ready?"

Current mood: feeling sorry for men and ashamed for women

Category: Romance and Relationships

That Cialis commercial makes me laugh out loud - something I rarely do when I'm masturbating. As soon as the "slow grind" soundtrack kicks in, I reach under the bed for my Hitachi Magic Wand. By the time the couple are in the meadow, holding hands in their "his" and "hers" hot tubs, I've beaten them to the finish line.

The urologist with the freakishly thick, splayed fingers warns men about erections lasting longer than four hours. I stare at his hands. Is he able to perform surgery? Can he even bend those puppies? Where did they find this guy?

If a man needs thirty six hours to coax his partner into having intercourse, something is very wrong. The problem isn't his penis, it's their relationship.

Superbowl Sunday

Current mood: superior

Category: Life

I cut and pasted below a recent exchange on Delicious Demon. The level of profundity on this message board constantly amazes me. That's why I lurk.

Pork Chop has his very own Think Tank.

Ken Brown

It may be hard for you to believe with all the hype going on, but I don't care who wins. During the game, if one team is getting killed, I will usually root for a comeback.

she who watches

sometimes underdogs are underdogs for good reason

Ken Brown

She Who Watches: Underdogs are always underdogs for a good reason, but sometimes they win anyway.


We are all underdogs, but most of us don't know it.