Tuesday, January 31, 2006

MySpace Posts: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Current mood: confused and curious as all get out


Conundrum Of The Day

Just when you think the Delicious Demon message board can't get any more surreal, it does. Is Ken posting under other names, and telling his gullible sidekick, PS Art, that his nemesis (Deeplip) is back on the message board, posting her mocking one-liners?

Is he self-medicating? He must be frantic with anxiety, now that he's lost his pizza delivery job at Lento's. Eviction could be days away. Nothing like an ugly internet feud to distract you when the wolf is at the door.

Could Ken's detractors (posting under "Ben Crown" and other taunting noms de plume) be manipulating and tormenting him? Pretending to be Deeplip? Even worse - maybe someone who has it in for him is already posting as Ken Brown.

It's all so confusing. Will the real Ken Brown stand up? I enjoy his comments, but it seems more and more people on the board want the real Ken Brown to shut up.

If I weren't so highly evolved, I'd say the chickens have come home to roost.

I'd love to know which posts are mine. The one about the flying ferrets was very funny. I wish I'd written it. Why do I think that particular post is Ken's?. Because he is the only one on the board clever enough and nuts enough to have written it.

BTW, I don't post on Delicious Demon, but I've been accused twice today of making mischief on the board. It takes a paranoid egomaniac like Ken to believe I am still there - and a wily sociopath like him to exploit the dim-wittedness and naivety of the site's self-appointed cheerleader and most prolific poster, PS Art.

Ken is crazy, but he's smart. That's why he cultivated an email friendship with PS Art, who posts several times a day and is, perhaps not coincidentally, the dimmest bulb on the message board. He cried on her shoulder, played the victim, and convinced her I was the Anti-Christ.

So now the ninny is posting about me again. Ken remains silent - no easy feat for him - and bides his time. Letting her run with the pitchfork. Sometimes I wonder .... does he really believe his own shit, or is it just a sick form of recreation?

The Measure Of A Man

Current mood: embarrassed for all of us


The following penile enlargement spam arrived in my morning email. It got me thinking. Maybe if men were forced to walk around 24/7 with their penises exposed, we could all - men AND women - get over this childish horseshit. Just take that thing out, leave it out and let it dangle.

In cold weather, a transparent plastic codpiece could be worn, and peek-a-boo jockstraps would allow athletes to support the testicles, while prominently displaying Mr. Happy. (Think "Victoria's Secret".)

Is the size of a man's penis the measure of his manhood? Leroy's a believer. See his testimonial below:

"You guys have made my dreams come true. I have been self-conscience (sic) for as long as I can remember. I did not want to shower with other guys growing up, because I was embarrassed. Not only has your system increased the size of my manhood while erect, but it has helped my size while flaccid as well. I hang bigger, and I feel more like the man I should have been all these years. The change is tremendous, I wanted to send you this note to let you know what it has done for me, and of course to order more LONGZ!"

Leroy, Brooklyn

check out the only Male Enhancement formula with a free DVD

Wait a minute! Isn't Leroy a black name? Oh .... never mind.

Food For Thought

Current mood: antitheocratic

News and Politics

"Every time anyone says that Israel is our only friend in the Middle East, I can't help but think that before Israel, we had no enemies in the Middle East."

-- John Sheehan, S.J. (a Jesuit priest)

Now that arch-conservative media mogul Rupert Murdoch owns MySpace, posts like this are an endangered species.

Let Us Now Praise Famous Men

Current mood: ruthlessly impartial

Writing and Poetry

Customer Reviews Avg. Customer Review: Write an online review and share your thoughts with other shoppers!

1 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

Calculated Kitsch?
August 3, 2005

Reviewer: clefpalate

The following is excerpted from the rave review in the New York Times Book Review:

''Unless,'' Oskar wonders, ''nothing was a clue.'' This paradoxical would-be koan is a clue for the reader: profundities ahead, possibly a lot of them, and all of them dropping with the same ''plop.'' And so it begins, and doesn't ever stop - a rain of truisms, aphorisms, nuggets of wisdom and deep thoughts tossed off by Oskar and the other characters as if they were trying to corner a market in ironic existentialist greeting cards. ''It's better to lose than never to have had.'' ''You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.'' ''Everything that's born has to die, which means our lives are like skyscrapers. The smoke rises at different speeds, but they're all on fire, and we're all trapped.''

If the above quotes are any indication, perhaps the book should have been titled "Extremely Trite and Incredibly Boring". Is Foer writing for sophisticated adults or the "Harry Potter" crowd? Genre bending is one thing, but this is an indigestible stew - a hodgepodge of narrative, fantasy, adventure, pop culture, doodles, photos, and lame aphorisms that read like self-help affirmations.

Critics will love it because it confirms their hipness. Readers who habitually channel surf and multitask won't care that the book is more style than substance. As the book's protagonist, Oskar, might say: "Style is the new substance". A lamentable trend, IMO. But decide for yourself.

Another book I need to mention -- very much on my mind since I purchased a copy off Amazon is "The Losers' Club: Complete Restored Edition" by Richard Perez, not reviewed anywhere -- but an odd, highly entertaining little novel I can't stop thinking about.

(As you can see, most people who read my review did not "find it helpful". But then, why should things be any different in cyberspace?)

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Current mood: pissed
Category: Life

Amazon says their "review system is down". Well, mine isn't................

The End Of Truth As We Know It., January 27, 2006

clefpalate (New Jersey) - See all my reviews

A Million Little Pieces was passed on by seventeen publishers when disgraced author James Frey submitted it as a novel. It was only when he became the poster boy for recovery that it suddenly became "riveting" and "compelling". What drove sales through the roof and made Frey a celebrity was the "redemption" angle, which, of course, required him to present his work of fiction as a memoir and then, after successfully duping millions of readers and earning millions of dollars, to defend it as "an emotional version of the truth". Whatever that means. And why on God's green earth should we believe this man, who lied about everything else, is telling us the truth about his so-called "recovery"? This goes to the heart of the book, and if Frey is conning us about having beaten his addiction to crack and alcohol, that is the biggest and cruelest deception of all.