Sunday, April 02, 2006

"The Peter Principle"

Current mood: Tired of "Insert Tab A In Slot B."
Category: Life

A recent email exchange with a close friend who is male - and also black - about America's obsession with penis size:

XY: I don't remember that ad, but Cialis also has the ear-catching commercial with a man and a woman in repose on their outdoor sun deck -- sitting in his-and-her bathtubs, contemplating the countryside as an announcer intones about the drug's 36-hour window of opportunity and warns about the side effects of four-hour erections. Those side effects warnings scare me off every time.

XX: What they don't tell you is a potbellied, bad-breathed, hairy-backed husband with a four-hour erection is gonna scare a lot of women.

What gets my goat about those ads is the message that penile-vaginal penetration is the measure of "his" manhood (ridiculous) and the source of "her" sexual satisfaction (untrue for most women). It shouldn't always be all about "Mr. Happy".

XY: Yeah, though the Hite Report exploded that myth, it endures, which means men obsess on size and enlargement and staying power while ignoring the sweet spot which explains why even Zagat now rates vibrators. I remember when Teri Garr's defiant "I'm responsible for my own orgasm!" was a shocking line in Tootsie. Today, it'd have to be delivered in a more blasé way. Zagat rates the Rabbit Habit #1 but I suspect that comes courtesy of its being the dildo of choice on Sex in the City. I heard good things about the Pocket Rocket.

XX: Yeah, that penile penetration myth dies hard (or soft, if you believe all the and absurdly, as many women as men buy into it. We've fetishized the male sex organ and the female breast. Not a day goes by that I don't read (in the Daily News and the Post) about how marvelously and irresistibly well-endowed so-and-so is. And not a day goes by that I don't run across some disparaging, belittling remark on the internet about small-penised men. It's the ultimate putdown.

Just a few days ago I ran across a MySpace profile of a stunning young woman - a model and a former Playmate. I'm assuming her pictures were legit just for argument's sake. Note: she had cheek implants, a chin implant, a nose job, silicon-injected lips and breast implants. She was telling women how to evaluate men they meet on internet dating sites and in social situations. She mentioned a couple of dead give-aways --- things men say or do that women should pick up on and run from ---- because, and I quote, "what he's really telling you is he has a small penis."

I guess she had too much class to say small dick.

Update: The fact that my friend is black wouldn't be relevant, were it not for the fact that there is an obsession with black penises in particular.